They want me to go to Western Australia, check out those decisive marginals in Perth, do vox-pops with other blokes named Shane, big boofy Shanes in steel-caps and safety vests as they line up at the Skywest gate for their next three-on, one-off at Karratha. But I’ve been to Western Australia. It’s another country. All those South African flags. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Penrith, I’ll consider. It’s where the nation keeps its pulse, after all. Frankston without the glamour. Meanwhile, Melbourne beckons. Not just a shorter commute, it’s a cliff-hanger of an entirely different variety. If the Greens can increase their 2007 primary vote by five points and pick up enough preferences from the micro parties and Liberals, they might just make it over the line. The bookies have already given it to them, favourites at $1.60.