The Crikeys : The Results Are In

Sunday, 21 May, 2000

On Monday 22nd May at the O-Bar in Surrey Hills Sydney, the inaugural Crikey’ were held. See who won what.

No doubt all 37 winners will look forward to hanging their Crikey Awards certificates proudly in their offices.

Whilst not quite as prestigious as The Walkley’s or The Quills, The Crikeys have already become the equivalent of what The Raspberries are to The Oscars. And at least we didn’t have a system of self-nomination or were sponsored by a gambling company like the Quills were.

An eclectic mix of journalists, unionists, spin doctors, Crikey subscribers, advertising types and friends of Paula’s came to the awards at the O’Bar in Sydney’s Surry Hills and this is what they saw announced.

Winners Of The Crikey Awards Announced On May 22 In Sydney

The I Award For Columnists
Winner: Emma Tom, The Australian.

Commendations: Corrie Perkin (Sunday Age) Richard Glover (SMH) Helen Razor (The Age)

Most Grovelling Apology
Winner: The Australian to Optus CEO Chris Anderson over a hard-hitting Mark Westfield column. Westfield was not even consulted about the grovelling apology which retracted most of the comments.

Most Litigious Dickhead
Winner: Alan Jones, 2UE, for constantly threatening and suing Fairfax.

Commendations: Kerry Packer, Rene Rivkin, Jeff Kennett

The Don’t Report On Your Proprietor Prize
Winner: News Corp papers around the globe for sycophantic coverage on China and negligible coverage of Rupert’s marriage to Wendi Deng.

Failed Campaign Prize
The Australian’s pro-republic stand which included an unprecedented front page editorial.

Weakest Interview Of The Year
Winner: 3AW’s Neil Mitchell after the Bolte portrait finished up in Jeff Kennett’s house and he refused to ask any tough questions.

Commendation: The Herald Sun for its exclusive with Jeff Kennett during the state election which billed itself as “tough” but involved questions such as “Are footy fans being looked after?”

The Beat Up On Your Proprietors Enemies Prize
The Daily Telegraph after the digital TV decision for “KPTV” and “PM’s son in death house”.

Most Ridiculous Front Page Story
Hobart Mercury about couple using a microwave to have sex at a party. Pic was of microwave.

Most Inappropriate Media Director
Winner: Michael Kroger at the ABC given his Liberal and Packer connections.

Commendation: The Packer associates on the Fairfax board, most notably Sir Rod Carnegie given his family’s investment in Text Media.

Biggest Stuff Up On Air.
Channel Ten’s live cross from Colonial Stadium where security guard jumps reporters.

The Fly Around The World Junket Award
Bruce Mansfield from 3AW thanks to Lauda Air

Best Newspaper Letter

Howard’s fail fashion test

“I was appalled by the lack of style displayed by the Howards in the picture accompanying Stephen Koukoulas’s article (‘Costello’s chance: don’t just sit there – do something’, AFR, May 2). John Howard looks like a sack of potatoes and wears a Vodafone advertisement! Mrs Howard looks far from elegant, but was conscious enough to have her face obscured.

I appreciate they do not have much to work with, but while they are representing us overseas they should try harder.”

Don Brown,

Lindfield NSW.

The Most Disgraceful Cash For Comment Trophy. Winner: Star City for complaining about John Laws mentioning the Dalamangas death at the casino.

Commendation: Walker Corp for paying Jones and Laws vast sums to spruik the Woolloomooloo finger wharf development and selling them a penthouse each.

The Both Sides Of The Street PR Backflip Award
Ian Kortlang for advising on AMP demutualisation, GIO on its takeover defence and then new AMP CEO Paul Batchelor.

Most Shameless Spindoctor Award.
Ken Hooper, Nick Greiner’s former chief of staff, for pretending to be a community group against Westfield’s competitors at the Arnotts biscuits site in Sydney.

Biggest Lie Told To The Media
SOCOG denying that tickets had been set aside for the rich

Most Tarnished Celebrity Manager
Joint winners: John Fordham for promoting John Laws’ cash for comment and Harry M Miller for promoting Alan Jones’ cash for comment.

The Shoot The Messenger Award For Political Media Bashing
Pauline Hanson

The Person Most In Need Of A Good Spin Doctor
Kevan Gosper

Most Ingenious Method of Avoiding Unpleasant Media Attention.
Cheryl Kernot and the Red Wig.

Most Consistently Unpublished Letter-Writer
The Senator for Fashionable Causes, Natasha Stott Despoja

The Disloyalty Award For Bagging Your Own Outlet(s).
Stephen Mayne for dumping on The Age, the Herald Sun, the AFR and Jeff Kennett on

Commendation: John Singleton for dumping on The Eye.

Minister For Picture Opportunities Award
Amanda Vanstone at every Federal Police drug bust

The Dish It Out But Can’t Take It Award
Ray Martin for moaning about John Safran and Shane Paxton going through his garbage.

The Take Anyone’s Moulah PR Prize.
Winner: IPR Shandwick for accepting $80,000 a month from Carlos the fugitive Mexican banker and for representing disgraced Coles Myer CEO Brian Quinn on his release from jail.

The Self-Appointed Bullshit Lobby Group Award
Ray Regan from the Tax Accountants Association who once gave a doorstop from hospital bed when recovering from a hernia operation.

Biggest PR Department Award.
Telstra with something approaching 50 spinners and support staff.

The stupidest cut to editorial resources prize Channel 10 for closing Perth studio and having newsreaders in Sydney.

The Lachlan Murdoch Internet Luddite Award John Cowley for refusing all Courier Mail journalist internet access and the Daily Telegraph where the internet reporter has no terminal access

The Kelvin McKenzie Stick It Up Your Punter Prize For Jackboot Journalism.
The Daily Telegraph for “GOSPER: Greedy, Obstinate, Selfish, Pompous, Egotistical, reptile”

The Overexposed Prize
Winner: Eddie McGuire for calling the footy on Triple M, hosting The Footy Show on Nine, penning a column in the Saturday Herald Sun, hosting “Who wants to be a miyonaire” on Nine and having an opinion on everything as Collingwood President.

The Shameless Vanity Prize for TV
Sam Newman for his facelift.

Most paranoid press secretary
John Howard’s spinner Tony “Whose was the arsehole quote” O’Leary.

The Media Tart Award
Winner: Peter Beattie who at least admitted it.

Commendations: Alan Fels and Tim Costello

Most Unpopular Editor With Staff
Winner: Col Allan, Daily Telegraph

Commendations: Glenn Burge, Financial Review. Brian Crisp, Sunday Times in Perth.

Holier Than Though Media Hypocrisy
Paul Murray for bagging commercial radio when editor of The West Australian and then becoming a 6PR shock jock

The Look After Your Directors Prize
The West Australian for not reporting the 38 houses severely damaged by the $500 million Northbridge tunnel done by a company owned by WA News director Harold Clough.

Media Misjudgement Prize
Winner: Kevan Gosper for Sophie’s torch carrying

Commendation: ABA chairman David Flint for attending the Packer wedding whilst investigating the FXF Trust and being interviewed by John Laws on the Republic whilst conducting the cash for comment inquiry.

Most Disgraceful Media Sacking
Winner: John Singleton for sacking Tim Shaw from his weekend shift on 2GB two hours after the Demtel man, as an independent director of NRMA, voted against Singleton Ogilvy Mather winning a $2 million NRMA advertising account.