The internet’s obsession with bacon and fatty food pr0n has finally crossed over into the real world this week, with KFC in the US releasing perhaps one of the most terrifying food-like products of all time, the Double Down Burger:

doubledown

From the greasy pen of the Colonel:

The new KFC Double Down sandwich is real! This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel’s Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!

Yes: it’s a double-cheese and bacon burger with fried chicken in place of a bun. And the internet is — quite literally — eating it up.

Whispers of this latest creation first hit the interwebs in July 2009, when a blogger from Food Geekery spotted the prototype at his local KFC. Other food bloggers quickly picked up the scent of plastic cheese, and a new internet meme was born.

The food police soon caught a whiff, too, and the “One burger to kill us all” stories started piling in, only further fueling the burger’s forbidden appeal.

Anticipation built and built, until earlier this month, when KFC announced it would start selling the Double Down in all stores throughout the US.

So when stoned 16-year-old “chicken technicians” (yes, that’s what they’re called) across the States finally started frying up this frankenburger on April 12, every self-respecting food blogger and critic across the mediasphere just had to try one.

And try them they did:

New York Times: On Ingesting KFC’s New Product, the “Double Down”

It is, in all, a disgusting meal, a must-to-avoid.

LA Times: KFC’s Double Down: A cheesy, sodium-filled sandwich — will you be buying?

… within 10 minutes the sandwich caused some physical distress

Village Voice: KFC’s Double Down Chicken Sandwich Review: I Ate It and Lived!

… the sandwich is an almost total dud

NPR: We Eat The New KFC Double Down And Live To Tell About It (But It’s Only Been 15 Minutes)

This sandwich is an Al Qaeda plot.

Salon: KFC’s insane Double Down taste-tested: Release the cracklin’!

I can already feel the grease wrap itself around my lips.

The Awl: The Definitive KFC Double Down review

… a sloppy and salty mess, and will make your stomach hurt for several hours after you’ve consumed it.

The A.V. Club: KFC’s Double Down Sandwich

I struggled to keep the sandwich down. I felt defeated, lost, overwhelmed.

Serious Eats: Would You Eat the KFC Double Down Sandwich?

It’s just some overly-seasoned chicken with an odd-tasting sauce and too much cheese inside

Slashfood: KFC Double Down Sandwich Taste Test

We can foresee this becoming the new “hangover food” of choice.

Hardly rave reviews — but does it matter? You can’t buy PR like this. And even if you’re mildly repulsed by the whole thing, admit it: on some level, you kind of want to try one.

A huge win for the KFC marketing machine, but a bigger loss to the dignity of Western civilisation.

Peter Fray

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