Merry Christmas, everyone! Our Indian Christmas conformed perfectly to the stereotype, with Spykey spending the day between bed and toilet suffering from gastro. The scorecard now reads:

Scott: 1
Spykey: 2

Spykey has two points because her gastro had the works, while mine only had the spews.

Because I was looking after Lisa and preparing her Christmas dinner of Gastrolyte, I only really left the hotel room to do a few chores. For this reason I decided to take advantage of the tiny television in the corner of the room and file a report on Christmas Indian television in Pondicherry.

A freaky dude in a Santa costume doing talkback against a greenscreen showing random and freaky images

A movie about Jesus on Jesus TV

‘The Dark Knight’, in English with English subtitles

An Indian sitcom with very little dialogue and lots of crying

A nativity scene

A booty-shakin’ video clip

A movie about Tim Allen in a fat suit, dubbed into Hindi

A sword fight in a colourful bedroom

Dancing in a field of flowers

The Indian version of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’

The plan is to head off to Mamallapuram tomorrow but we’ll wait and see how Spykey’s feeling. Four hours on a bus may be just the thing she doesn’t need right now.

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Peter Fray
Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey
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