Poor Barnaby Joyce … the Lil’ Abner of Australian politics mocked, not unjustifiably it must be said, by the now-famous loony-la-la finger twirling of ABC2 breakfast host Virginia Trioli. Joyce was talking drivel, and lots of it, but in that he is hardly unique among Australian politicians and public figures. We feel Trioli’s candour should be honoured by a new Crikey award for public waffle. Thus:

Steve Fielding: “If Bob Brown and his hippy friends really believed in their cause, they’d ride their bikes to Parliament House instead of using the Commonwealth’s petrol-guzzling V8s.” Nice work Senator, that’s worthy of, hmm, two Triolis.

Sharman Stone: “This is the opportunity for the Rudd Labor government to not just talk tough and say we don’t like people smugglers but to actually make sure the message isn’t: new tactic everybody; call yourself in distress whether or not you’re in Australian waters and Australia will come to your rescue and bring you on down.” Four Triolis.

Janet Albrechtsen: “Now let me put this proposition forward. Australia has its own Obama, only a much better one. One who has that final ingredient of being able to carry people with him, even those he skewers with his criticisms. Noel Pearson may not appreciate me saying this. But the Cape York indigenous leader has more than a touch of Obama about him, but with genuine substance.” Oh of course! They’re both black. Two Triolis.

And our current clubhouse leader:

Kevin Rudd: “We see this lowest form of human life at work in what we saw on the high seas yesterday. That’s why this government maintains its hardline, tough, targeted approach to maintaining border protection for Australia. And that’s why we have dedicated more resources to combat people smuggling than any other government in Australian history.” Tosser. Five Triolis.

When it comes to talking crap, Kevin is in a field of his own.

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Peter Fray
Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey
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