Minutes: Production Meeting, Hey Hey It’s Saturday, October 6, 2009-10-11

Present: Mr D. Somers, Mr R. Symons, Ms L. Nixon, Mr J. Blackman, Mr O. Ostrich

Apologies: Mr R. Gilbert, Mr M. Meldrum, Mr P. Duck

Reading of minutes from last meeting: All agreed that first reunion special was a major success, but possibly failed to “push the boundaries” enough. Suggested that for second special, increase frequency and volume of Dickie Knee interjections. It was agreed that sound effects were not zany enough — Mr D. Somers requested trebling of zaniness budget. Mr Somers also requested extension of running time to five hours to accommodate drum solos — doubt was expressed over network’s response to this.

New business: Planning for second reunion special was reported to be “almost complete”. Mr J. Blackman tabled 50-page summary of suggested gay jokes to be used during Molly Meldrum segment. Room collapsed into laughter. After five minutes attempting to restore order, Mr D. Somers cleared the room, suggesting they reconvene half an hour later.

Half an hour later: Meeting reconvened. Mr O. Ostrich repeated last week’s demand for larger salary. Mr Ostrich was asked to tone down his profane language and reminded that he is, in fact, a puppet. Subject dropped.

At this point, Ms L. Nixon was heard to giggle.

Disaster-chef — Mr Somers moved that it be entered into the minutes that Disaster-chef segment was “comedy gold” and that it be repeated this week. Motion passed unanimously. Letter drafted to Nine management pitching topical youth-oriented spin-off titled Hey Hey It’s MasterChef spoofs. Mr Symons suggests alternative title iSpoof 2.1. As show’s resident hip rock legend/intellectual heavyweight, his suggestion taken under consideration for future development.

At this point, Ms L. Nixon repeated her earlier giggle.

Mr J. Blackman raised possibility of reviving “The Great Aussie Joke” with Maurie Fields. The subject of Mr Fields’s death was discussed at length, with Mr Blackman forcefully putting forward his opinion that “I think we could still get away with it”. Mr Blackman demonstrated with wooden pole and old Dickie Knee footage how inanimate objects can be given the appearance of life. Room convinced; unanimously agreed that inquiries should be made as to the whereabouts and availability of Mr Fields’s body.

Mr Somers made speech emphasising Hey Hey’s importance as showcase for exciting new Australian talent, asking for ideas as to hot new bands to feature on show.

A prolonged silence was then heard, during which Ms L. Nixon giggled.

After ten minutes it was agreed to ask John Farnham back.

Group moved on to deciding which acts to include in new Red Faces segment. Final spot came down to choice between “Jackson Jive”, “Schmuckie the Jew With The Giant Nose”, “The Asian Driver Song”, and “Al-Boomah, the Exploding Arab Clown”. Mr Ostrich points out that Schmuckie may be a risky choice, given that judge Harry Connick Jr is Jewish and might take offence. In deference to Connick’s sensibilities, it is agreed not to put Schmuckie on. All agreed that a bullet has been dodged.

A lengthy discussion about relative merits of Jackson Jive versus the Arab Clown. Mr Blackman raised possibility of doing something “about the gays”, and was generally ignored. Mr Somers put issue to the vote, and “Jackson Jive” was selected to appear on Red Faces by a score of 3-2.

Mr Symons expressed concern that blackface in Jackson Jive skit could be construed as racist by some. Mr Symons was shouted down as it was loudly pointed out that Australia is not a racist country, and that he should “get a fucking sense of humour” (Mr Ostrich). Mr Somers also explained that one of the Jackson Jive performers is Indian, thus eliminating any possibility of racism. Mr Symons satisfied by this explanation; all happy.

While on the subject, Mr Blackman suggested a call be put through to Kamahl to see if he would like to participate in Jackson Jive performance, given that he is also “black, in a funny way”. General agreement. Andrew Fyfe also to be contacted for preliminary sketches for possible development into clever black-people cartoons.

Meeting ended, with agreement to reconvene in one week to plan for triumphant return as weekly show next year. Mr Somers thanked all present for their ongoing commitment to “returning good wholesome family entertainment” to Australian television screens. Ms Nixon giggled. Meeting dissolved.

Peter Fray

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