Sep 28, 2009

Vegemite’s new name unites the internet in contempt

Kraft has finally found a name for its "new" Vegemite -- and it's so horrible, the entire internet has gone into snark meltdown.

Apparently there was some sort of sporting event on Saturday — not that those of us who spend our weekends hopelessly glued to our laptops and iPhones noticed (not that it’s hopeless when we do it, of course, because we’re online-journalist-social-media-expert-guru-bloggers and that’s just how we roll in the Web Squared era. No accounting for those other freaks, though); the Big Game was eclipsed by a far more important issue: Kraft has finally found a name for its “new version” of Vegemite. And it’s horrible.

How horrible?

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45 thoughts on “Vegemite’s new name unites the internet in contempt

  1. Jean

    I don’t know if it is Kraft or the media reporting that leaves me asking this question- does this mean regular Vegemite will no longer be available, or is the creamcheesisation that has turned all supermarket dips into the same product (remember taramasalata made the proper way with bread crumbs?) simply an extra version?

  2. Ruth Brown

    Don’t worry: it’s just an extra version.

    More Crystal Pepsi than New Coke.

  3. David Sanderson

    I’m a total newbie when it comes to iPhone food snacks. Can someone tell me what slot iSnack goes in because it won’t fit in the battery compartment.

    If my iPhone likes the stuff how much will this high-energy snack extend the battery life?

    Also, are there copies of the 1.0 versions still around? 2.o is a bit expensive for me.

  4. Jason Richardson

    Is it just stringing out more free publicity, now through the outrage?

    I still reckon Vaginamite would’ve done that better:

  5. Most Peculiar Mama

    What else would you expect from a “web” designer but i(diot)Snack v2.0.

    An “E P I C F A I L” to appeal to the GenText tools.

    Once all the free publicity had died down they will announce the new name Cheesymite, which they have paid Baker’s Delight a small fortune for.

    The fact they feel it necessary to do this initial pre-test betrays the real marketing talent vacuum at Kraft HQ.

    This is little more than a lame and pathetic attempt at guerilla marketing.

    And so 2003.

    What’s next… a flash mob?

  6. Chris Johnson

    Interesting to follow iSnack 2.0’s market success given the following:

    1. IT-illiterate and over 50’s shoppers will likely assume its a kiddie food
    2. It’s perishable unless refrigerated after opening
    3. Contains preservatives
    4. Compared to Vegemite it has increased fats and sugars
    5. Is less versatile as a cooking stock

    And it tastes like a cross between playdough and plasticine

  7. David Sanderson

    “And it tastes like a cross between playdough and plasticine”

    Chris, you may be the most adventurous epicurean in world history. Even the most adventurous gourmets I know of would not think of mixing their sculptural foods.

  8. Marcus Giles

    I’m shocked and surprised my suggestion of “YankeeMite” didn’t take off.

    hmm seems even more relevent now 😛

  9. Mac Yourselfathome

    I like the new name.

    I don’t really. I was just being contrary.

  10. martinells4g

    When it first came out I was calling it ‘Shitemite’. Despite the fact that
    I quite like the taste, I think that name still appies.

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