The claims against US President Barack Obama continue to get loonier. He hates white people, he isn’t American, he isn’t human, he supported infanticide as a senator, etc.

Former President Jimmy Carter identified racism as the root cause of many of these allegations. But Obama himself is more cautious about making the link. In a chat with Letterman a few days ago, he threw away the racism angle with a joke: “I was actually black before the election.”

And turns out American wingnuts were nutty before the election too. Crikey decided it was timely to put all of the wackiest theories about Obama in one place. Or could there be something to them? We report, you decide:

  1. Obama’s “czars” believe that animals should have lawyers to sue their owners. This would render the United States into a nation run by animals. “Animals have more rights than people,” says Donna Biscontini (Tea Partyer).
  2. The birther argument: there is overwhelming evidence that Obama was born in Kenya. It’s just not right to “have somebody just walk in and throw the Constitution on the ground like it’s a piece of crap,” says Henry, a Birther who has lost his job to immigrants.
  3. The advanced birther argument: Obama is guilty of not being born in America or why would he spend so much money on his defence? Philip J. Berg, Esquire (creator of says that “Obama has spent over $1 million dollars defending all the lawsuits that have been filed since my lawsuit (against him) on August 21, 2008.”
  4. The extreme birther argument. Obama is an alien, as in from outer space.
  5. Obama was sworn into the Senate using a copy of the Qur’an. This is a fact, but it is referring to Congressman Keith Ellison being sworn in with the Qur’an, who really is a Muslim and was sworn in on January 4, 2007.
  6. Obama is a cousin to Vice-President Dick Cheney. Obama is actually eighth cousin to Cheney, according to research by the vice-president’s wife Lynne. The two men share a common ancestor in a 17th-century French immigrant.
  7. During Obama’s dark, mysterious years at Columbia, he was involved in domestic terrorist bombings. The mainstream media ignored the fact that Obama must have been “involved in some fashion” in domestic terrorism because he was “interested in South African divestment”.
  8. Obama is a philanderer. Obama had a girlfriend that his wife found out about and forced her to move to the Caribbean.
  9. The rumour with everything: drugs, sex, limousines and disability. Larry Sinclair alleges that Obama had cocaine-fuelled homosoxual acts with him in the back of a limousine, as reported in World Net Daily. Video evidence here (warning: bad language and pink limousines).
  10. Barack Obama had an underage, gay ‘affair” with a paedophile. One of Obama’s childhood mentors wrote a semi-autobiographical book that includes passages about sex with an underage girl. The conservative blogosphere collectively made the next logical leap that even the Enquirer was too skittish to make: Obama must have had sex with this man when he was nine-years-old.
  11. There is a direct correlation/causation between Obama’s rising poll numbers and the fall of the stock market. And there are graphs to prove it.
  12. Obama is a Marxist. While in high school, his mother developed an affinity with a teacher who led readings from Marx. She became an atheist or agnostic and met Barack Obama Sr. in a college Russian language class — a Russian language class, circa 1960.


Obot — Obama supporter.

Obamacare — the term for Obama’s voodoo healthcare system.

Beckstepper — Glenn Beck supporter.

Tea Party — a series of locally organised, nationally coordinated, anti Obama protests across the United States.

Birther — A conspiracy theorist who believes that Barack Obama is ineligible for the Presidency of the United States, based on any number of claims related to his place of birth, birth certificate, favourite birthday, or whether or not he has heard the song Africa by Toto.