So about a month ago, Kraft announced they were releasing a “new” Vegemite, which is patently absurd because there is nothing wrong with normal Vegemite.

But today a big box arrived at the Crikey office full of little snack pack samples of the stuff.


Each pack contained four slightly cheesy biscuits, and a little compartment of “new” Vegemite — a mix of Vegemite and cream cheese, not dissimilar from a Le Snack.


We naturally had moral objections to the whole concept of reinventing such a perfect condiment, but we’ve never let morality get in the way of a good story before, so we had to at least try it.

I realise Kraft’s PR folk send this to us exactly so we will write about it as I’m doing now, and I’m perhaps just playing into their hands, but this is an issue of great national importance, and as such, I think it’s vital Crikey weigh in.


Here are the team’s views, in one sentence each:

First Dog: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
Journalist Eleri Harris: I’d happily eat it again… in fact I WILL eat it again, as I still have one left
Intern Sophie Tarr: Creepy — cheese should be solid; that’s not cheese, it’s… cheese sludge.
Web Editor Jane Nethercote: Good mouth-feel
Production Co-ordinator Leigh Josey: It was shit – and I’m a Vegemite connoisseur!
Deputy Editor Sophie Black: What’s the point?
Journalist Ruth Brown: UnAustralian.

Matt Preston: Not enough lift in the puff, but because I like you, I swallowed it.

As the product doesn’t actually have a name yet, each pack contains a blank space for you to enter your own suggestion. First Dog took the initiative: