Hear that? No? Ah, must be the sound of a penny not dropping – a common noise around the NRL these days.

Roosters players Jake Friend and Sandor Earl, bingeing up big on the back of their winning streak of one, will take the field against St George tonight despite assault charges – innocent until proven guilty, you see. Unfortunately for the Chickens, their presence won’t do much good. The Dragons in a canter.

Meanwhile, on the peninsula, a bloke called Brett Seymour has been fired by Cronulla after pissing on (again) at the 2230 bar. The Hot Form chart thinks it was about 0230 by the time Seymour couldn’t recall that he had a job paying him 150G each year. His former club will compound its week by losing big to the Cowboys in Townsville, a place where cold beer slides down hot throats until all hours.

And speaking of pennies not dropping, Tony Carroll has come out of retirement. The man whose torso looks put together by the makers of Wallace & Gromit will run around against the Warriors tonight. The Form Chart reckons he’ll get a win too.

Someone heading in the other direction is points-scoring machine Hazem El Masri, and his contribution will be critical in Monday night’s clash against a Manly mob who have been camped in the upper reaches of the Form Chart in recent weeks.

The Storm are not the team they were but sense dictates to tip them at home, while Souths should climb off the bottom of the Form Chart against fellow strugglers Wests Tigers.

And while there are plenty of reasons to not tip the top team on the road in Canberra, the Form Chart pays attention to just one fact: the Titans are the better outfit.

Crikey’s hot form tips are:

  • Cowboys
  • Rabbitohs
  • Melbourne
  • Parramatta
  • Gold Coast
  • Bulldogs

Last week: 4 (Season total: 70)

Crikey’s AFL Hot Form Chart

Essendon and Collingwood clash on the Friday night stage. Both teams are in the eight, are coming off wins and are looking firmly in September’s direction. So why aren’t we talking this up as one of the games of the season?

It takes something pretty special to trump the Bombers and Pies at the MCG but special is what we’ve got in Sunday’s match between Geelong and St Kilda – forum et tempore inconvenus notwithstanding. Both teams, incredibly, have racked up 13 wins straight. The form chart says Geelong on the back of three seasons of unparalleled success but if the Cats succumb to their tendency to over-possess the ball, watch out for the ant army to go to work.

Sunday’s big game should not take too much gloss away from other matches in what is surely the round of the season. The pundits will like the Pies although Essendon has built its year on defying such predictions. Sydney is light one angry forward and will be vulnerable to a re-energised North.

Melbourne has more than one reason to show it can actually play the game and has the luxury, in West Coast, of an opponent that has not won on the road in its last 17 attempts. Brisbane simply looks too good for Port, while the Crows will make it a straight six with handsome victory over Richmond.

The hype sieve at Hawthorn and Carlton has run completely dry. Both teams now seem destined to battle for eighth spot and the Blues have the best opportunity to steal a march away to Freo on Sunday. The Hawks, on the other hand, must overcome form, fitness and the red-hot Dogs; a troika beyond them according to the Hot Form Chart.

Crikey’s Hot Form Tips for round 14 are:

  • Collingwood
  • Melbourne
  • Brisbane
  • Adelaide
  • Bulldogs
  • North Melbourne
  • Carlton
  • Geelong

Last week: 6 (Season total: 67)