Meanwhile, in a cyber universe far far away (but paradoxically very near you), the kids are compiling their own league table.

partyinyourpants writes: Miss Velasquez teaches art at St Doms. Hot hot hot. Leans over to help with your clay modelling, you see everything. Ooh yeah. Check this, her name’s Doris an she got da cutest adam’s apple.

coolas69 writes: Adam’s apple!! I think there’s something you need to know, partyinyourpants.

gogo_googoo writes: Hey, we had Velasquez at Academy Girls. She’s no guy, just a real bitch.

partyinyourpants writes: Go go, goo goo. Any lez action happening at Academy Girls???

gogo_googoo writes: OP (o please).

tarquinkingofrome writes: Any dirt on a Trevor Diogenes? Fossil teaches history at Lowbottom. Cracks these jokes that ARE JUST NOT FUNNY. Can’t take a joke himself. Guys you should have seen the look on his face when his chair collapsed. Funny as. History is the sh-ttest subject. Catch.

yodude09 writes: Hey amigos, what’s crackin? Thought that Diogenes dude was way cool. I mean a real gas. Actually that joke about Canute was a scream — what mates at Lowbottom told me, anyway. Yeah I reckon Diogenes is okay Jose.

tarquinkingofrome writes: Okay Jose!!! Are you freaking with me, brother?

yodude09 writes: Seems like you might have had a humour bypass, old tyrant.

tarquinkingofrome writes: That’s what Diogenes calls me. GTFOH.

coolas69: Thinks: we gotta situation here. Teacher infiltration!!!

partyinyourpants writes: Pedo alert!

gogo_googoo writes: Are you THE Tarquin. Vulnavia told me all about you. We should hook up.

tarquinkingofrome writes: If that’s you, Diogenes, you are so gone.

yodude09 writes: Of course it’s not me — him. Why would it be me — HIM? Just wanted to put it about that the cat’s hep, Daddy. He’s uptight and outa sight. Chill.

gogo_googoo writes: Don’t you wanna get with me, Tarkie? I got a tongue stud.

yodude09: Er, catch, everyone. I’m just off to listen to some Slopknit. No, no. That would be Slipknot.