In The Age yesterday (arts section, page 20) the Shortcuts column reported that “gonzo filmmaker extraordinaire” Michael Moore’s next blockbuster documentary will investigate the global financial crisis. The writer filed this news under ‘Things to Look Forward To’, which is fair enough, but far more intriguing was the next sentence, which opened with “The maker of Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko and Bowling for Concubine said in a statement…”
Yes, you read right. Bowling for Concubine. In an intriguing slice of historical revisionism, The Age has questioned the memory of any moviegoers who recall Moore’s phenomenally successful Oscar-winning documentary to be about America’s Columbine high school massacre. It was actually – didn’t you get the memo? – a hard-hitting expose about mistresses in Imperial China who enjoy partaking in a round of lawn balls before courting their bedmates.
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Following The Age’s lead, let me announce in no uncertain terms that Moore certainly did not direct Sicko, Roger & Me or Fahrenheit 9/11. If you think he did, you silly codgers simply haven’t been taking your medicine. He in fact directed:
Dicko – a shocking, blood-curdling study of the numerous mental deficiencies in the minds of audiences who find any entertainment value whatsoever in the exploits of Australian Idol judge/media personality Ian “Dicko” Dickson.
Dodger & Me – a romantic comedy about Michael Moore’s odd couple man-on-man chemistry with corrupt Sydney detective Roger “the Dodger” Rogerson, famously portrayed by Richard Roxburgh in the B for Brilliant TV mini-series Blue Murder.
Bite-N-Smite 7/11 – Moore unravels how God came down to earth in the 90s, took a bite of a 7/11 sausage roll that’d been sitting in the warmer for too long, and, furious, unleashed a plague onto the earth known as Reality TV.