When Barack Obama was elected as the new US president on 4 November last year, millions of Americans were inspired by the promise of hope and change heralded by the historic occasion. But others, it seems, were inspired by the chance to cash in on the nation’s excitement and make a quick buck.

Yes, the American spirit of entrepreneurialism is looking as healthy as ever, as thousands shill Obama t-shirts, posters, mugs and tonnes of other crap in the lead-up to the inauguration. We take a look at the best (and by ‘the best’, we mean ‘the most delightfully horrible’) of that crap.

Don’t like wearing Obama’s message of hope on your chest? How about wedging it between your bum cheeks with an Obama g-banger. CafePress has 64,000 different designs, but our pick of the litter is this one, featuring O inexplicably dressed up as a pumpkin:

If that’s not intimate enough for you, rub Obama’s face all over your wet, naked body every morning with the Hope on a Rope soap.

 

And keep the feeling of hope flowing through your pores all day with O Balm Ah restorative balm

Keen watchers of US economic policy can bring new meaning to the term ‘stimulus package’ with the Obama Head O State “pleasure toy” — available in both democratic blue and presidential gold:

The Obama Yes We Can Opener is both functional and witty, no doubt providing hours of dinner party entertainment as you delight your guests with clever Obama/can-opener puns and repartee:

If the Harvard law graduate has always kind of reminded you of a mythical flying lizard, spruce up that dull garden or mantelpiece with an Obama-dragon gargoyle sculpture

And if fantasy is your thing, snatch up one of these Obama Nude on a Unicorn Victory Prints, commemorating his glorious win in the Democratic primaries:

Or if you see a certain resemblance with Jesus, spread the word with this tasteful pendant, sure to go down a treat at your next church picnic:

Commemorate Obama’s love of smoking and commitment to health care with a set of cigar bands and an Obama ashtray — this one depicting a particularly moving moment from the campaign trail:

 

Every kid on the block has an Obama doll or action figure by now, so help your children stand out from the crowd with this Obama Babushka doll set — it’s five dolls in one, so your budding little Marxist in training can really learn how to spread the wealth around.

And finally, for the truly committed, or the Obama fan who has everything, memorialise this historic election with an Obama tattoo

Buy it all now — it won’t be worth anything tomorrow.

Peter Fray

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Peter Fray
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