Say what you will about the Ruddites, they encourage inclusion. In the last week alone, hairdressers have been heartened by the special and unique place they have been invited to occupy in the body politic. As a consequence, academies of applied pilatory technology have been swamped with applicants eager to trim the taper of liberty. Or the yulang yulang scented candle at least.

"Oh I know," they recite the credo of their kind, "Believe me I know. I think you would look super with a highlight."