The US election produced many a bizarre media moment but the moment of triumph, the froth on a cold one, came via CNN’s “hologram” technology during Wednesday’s coverage of Election Day.

Was Jessica Yelling appealing to Obi Wan?

She seemed to think so. She even referenced Star Wars as she explained the technology to Wolf Blitzer:

It’s like I follow in the tradition of Princess Leia…

There are 35 high definition cameras ringing me in a ring around, I’m in the centre and they shoot my body at different angles and I’m told that that transmits what looks like an entire body image.

But there was something a little fishy about this so called “hologram”. According to CNN the technology was not actually a hologram in the sense that they were able to capture matter and transport it in real time but rather it was video technology. So Wolf was actually speaking to a red dot on the carpet, rather than Jessica in all her shimmery glory.

And the smug smiles of the CNN crew might’ve been wiped off had they known they were pipped in the race to be the first to use the technology by none other than our own Warney!

The great spin bowler’s marvellous head of peroxided hair has been immortalised in a permanent exhibit at the National Sports Museum. As news.com.au reported, his holographic likeness was launched last week, “…in the high-tech exhibit, a life-size hologram of Warne tells audiences about his most memorable moments…” including admitting he was a “bit of a fat bastard” when he made his Test debut, and explaining that his epic delivery that bowled Mike Gatting in 1993 was “complete arse”.

Maybe Shane could give the Black Eyed Peas Will.I.Am some tips on how to be a hologram. In perhaps the most absurd addition to CNN’s comprehensive election day coverage (even stranger than a hologram of Capitol Hill popping up on the CNN desk complete with Senate seats updated in real time), the singer and Obama campaigner shimmied in front of Anderson Cooper:

Cooper knows how foolish he looks as he welcomes the hologram into the studio:

COOPER: “Will.I.Am, live from Grant Park, let’s, ah, beam him in now…”

WILL.I.AM: “…it’s just like Star Wars or something…”

COOPERR: “…yes, it looks exactly like Star Trek, when they would beam people down.”

CNN, for inflicting the unnecessary, pointless and not even real hologram on Wolf, Anderson and co, we award you this week’s Wankley.

Peter Fray

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