This year, the Birdcage enclosure during Derby Day at Flemington will be devoid of some of the usual noxious species of racegoers that have become so bothersome to fair dinkum punters in recent years. I am of course talking about the arrogant, cock-sure, rude and obnoxious modern phenomenon known as the "w-nker banker". The fair dinkum punters are now all a little lighter on in the wallet, thanks largely to the unscrupulous antics of w-nker bankers in recent decades, but we can take comfort from the thought that at least this year we will not have to put up with these "showy spivs" at the track on Saturday.

Society has traditionally harboured various forms the "spiv"; that is typically flashy dressing w-nkers who make a buck by disreputable means. Be that as it may, the modern merchant banking version of the "spiv" is a far more potent derivate insomuch as these "spivs" actually believe their own sh-t and think that they really do contribute something useful to society.