The dumbest angle on the financial crisis. New York’s financial crisis has spawned some absurd theories, the silliest of which concern our sex lives. Recently, an Ivy League sociologist tried to convince Slate‘s more gullible readers that high-end prostitutes might actually benefit from the Wall Street meltdown. Over at the Daily News, we learn that sex addiction – a notoriously hard ailment to define – is “on the rise” because the Dow is dipping. — The Guardian

Denis Leary defends his asshole views on autism. You might remember Denis Leary’s (only) hit single released in 1993  – “Asshole”. The actor may be doing his part to uphold that reputation with some controversial views about autism made in his new book. — PopEater

Madonna and Guy confirm they’re divorcing. Where do you go once you’ve escaped suburban Detroit banality, conquered the grimy 1980’s New York City club scene, become a music and fashion superstar, attempted acting in movies and Broadway plays, borne approximately 143 reinvention comebacks from your be-hot-panted loins, settled down with a film director husband and cobbled together a hodgepodge of children, become a fitness-obsessed British lady, written children’s books, directed your own film, worked your arms into clobbering, veiny horror shows, and then suddenly the happy quiet marriage dissolves and you’re free to be yourself again? What’s a material girl to do? — Gawker

Did Billy Bob Thornton break up David Duchovony and Tea Leoni? Wow, this is confusing. When it was announced Californication star David Duchovny and his wife of A Rather Long Time, actress Tea Leoni, were splitting up, I assumed it would have something to do with David-related misbehaviour, considering he’d recently entered rehab for sex addiction. But no, says the Daily Mail. It’s actually because Tea and Billy Bob Thornton have been participating in a few Warney-esque text exchanges!  — Defamer

Miley Cyrus makes shelf space for her Pulitzer Prize. Good news; Miley Cyrus has finished her autobiography! Yes, we’ve reached a point where a 15-year-old Disney puppet feels entitled to publish her life story. Hey, she deserves it. We all do. Because we suck. — The Superficial