“Dude you can’t keep that.”

Liffey bar, St Paul, last night of the GOP convention, and a British journo who shall definitely remain nameless — actually I never even found out who he wrote for — rushed in, waving something in his hand, a maroon colour. A blackberry. It had been wedged in the backseat divet of a cab he got into.

“She’s some sort of GOP operative,” he said, scrolling through the messages.

“Man,” said someone, “you gotta return it.”

“Of course,” he said.

“You won’t will you?”

“Of course … there are pages of messaging conversations on this … some bloke name Trevor trying to get with her from a distance.”

“You’re going to download it aren’t you?”

“Of course.”

“That is utterly immoral and wrong and I want you to send it to me from a generic email account.”

So here we have the Cassidy tapes, folks, [natch, all the names have been changed] an insight into how young Republicans live, love and leave their blackberries in cabs. Cassidy throughout is conducting an interrupted messaging with Trevor over the course of a week, as it becomes clear to the young man that his passion is not sufficiently requited.

Your correspondent currently has a half hour layover in Denver, which gives insufficient time to continue the advance autopsy of the Obama campaign, which resumes tomorrow.

Denver, Tuesday night of the Convention presumably:

TREVOR (NOT IN DENVER): You talk to Cassidy and Emma — im just about to send out a tubing email

CASSIDY: mentioned it to both

TREVOR: cool

CASSIDY: perfecto

TREVOR: I just walked back from Laura and Madison’s

CASSIDY: Did u see hillarys pantsuit team?

TREVOR: Pantsuit advance

CASSIDY: 2 aides came on stage each carrying a pair of pantsuits and held them up to check the colours

TREVOR: lol how could I miss that —

CASSIDY: ha sisterhood of travelling pantsuits

TREVOR: I cant stand all this BS

CASSIDY: so righteous

TREVOR: narcissistic

CASSIDY: r u my thesauraus tonite

TREVOR: i’m whatever you need me to be

CASSIDY: how cute

TREVOR: im awfully agreeable

CASSIDY: twin cities line was cute

TREVOR: shes evil

CASSIDY: she doesnt realise it

TREVOR: safe flight to [MINOR CITY NAME]


TREVOR: she totally pumped up the fem nazi jargon

CASSIDY: didnt realise me and my sisterhood had so much to overcome

TREVOR: how is it that bill and hillary getting on board is considered newsworthy

CASSIDY: hate him

TREVOR: surprise

CASSIDY: I detest him

TREVOR: thats stronger than your hate

CASSIDY: dont start that again

TREVOR: biden is so damn likeable

CASSIDY: hes one of the few dems I like

TREVOR: his mom is a peach

CASSIDY: the crowd is like trained guppies

TREVOR: yuppies buppies and guppies

CASSIDY: seriously

TREVOR: you just got a huge chuckle out of me

CASSIDY: the least I could do you gave so many to me

Denver, Thursday:

CASSIDY: u ready for Obama’s speech

TREVOR: as ready as I can be

CASSIDY: made it thru the first three days I think I can handle the finale

TREVOR: pouring myself a scotch

CASSIDY: I hear hes speaking in front of roman columns

TREVOR: I mean he went out and built roman columns in soldeirs field

CASSIDY: guys gotta have a backdrop

TREVOR: seen the mccain ad yet

CASSIDY: fyi im for equal pay

TREVOR: drudge says its pawlenty

CASSIDY: I pray its not pawlenty

TREVOR: the ones I like the right wing wont accept

CASSIDY: after tonite do u think we can match the dems next week

TREVOR: we can match

CASSIDY: this convention improved each day but it started very poorly

TREVOR: and I know mccain will deliver an excellent speech

CASSIDY: furts 2 days sucked

TREVOR:  u watching larry king

CASSIDY: I am but im falling asleep

TREVOR:  yep and project runway. Im a man for all seasons

St Paul, Tuesday:

CASSIDY: thank you I made it — 60 deg here in STP I dont want to hear about gods country

TREVOR: I hear that you were seen partying with bristol palin last night

CASSIDY: its all over the blogs

TREVOR: u r too much

CASSIDY: were at the cnn grill. Very cool

TREVOR: dont fret im sure you can get a reporter to go with you. Maybe you should go after a local reported from Fargo ND

CASSIDY: I got my own — katie couric is not as exciting though

TREVOR: she has pipes for arms — hows day 2

CASSIDY: doesnt get much better than this im in GOP heaven

TREVOR: have you hooked up wuth madelaine d, stewart hotchkiss

CASSIDY: stewart in the gulf with chertoff

TREVOR: you shouldnt be playing on your berry during the pledge

CASSIDY: in the press area right now

TREVOR: oh I guess the pledge doesn’t apply there

CASSIDY: theres work to be done

TREVOR: oh I thought it was just a big party to distract attention from the hurricane

CASSIDY: so they say

TREVOR: ed henry is on TV. Kind of dashing. Im jealous

CASSIDY: he wears his camera makeup all the time

TREVOR: gross guess thats the bizz

CASSIDY: no should take that crap off when youre done working — big no for the fellas

TREVOR: bear that in mind

St Paul, Wednesday:

TREVOR: drill baby drill. This convention is perilously off message

CASSIDY: I know media is having a hay day

TREVOR: you can spin it they were yelling to bristols fiance


TREVOR: ill let you use that in the press room

CASSIDY: palin rocks

TREVOR: hell yeah

CASSIDY: studio greek columns

TREVOR: I want to be a hockey mom

CASSIDY: pit bull with lipstick but enuf about kim kendrick

TREVOR: I guess I should resign myself to not seeing you tonite

CASSIDY: the whole place is buzzin with Palin fever

CASSIDY: yawn she was terrible


CASSIDY: cindy

Thursday, McCain speech

TREVOR: this is borrrrrringgg

CASSIDY: youre telling me — im stuck standing for this crap — his speech 53 minutes at least youre sitting

TREVOR: and drinking scotch

CASSIDY: ive got a full bar…open bar…i only go to open bar parties

TREVOR: smart girl…

You think?