He who throws the first stone We think News Ltd best not point the finger at declining standards at Fairfax… Check out today’s Media section headline on, erm, media edumucation:

 Long bow? Nine sinks to a new low!!! I can’t believe my eyes but Channel Nine have just ran a promo for Channel Nine News that links the ‘Nine’ injured Aussie servicemen in Afghanistan to their news coverage. It flashed Nine at least three times. (Watch here). Disgraceful and Unbelievable!!! What would have happened if there were only 8 servicemen injured?! Or would we have a promo from Channel Ten if there were 10 injured. — an outraged Crikey reader

Why not to run in high heels Check out the lady in the far right of this recent photo of a ‘fun’ run in which women were urged to run down the street in stillettos…

A beautiful coincidence, or clever cross promotion?

A NZ Fairfax employee writes: With the benefit of hindsight, I understand now why Fairfax cut our milk rations before they announced job cuts. They want our bones all soft and breaky so we don’t have the strength to fight back. Fairfax, who owns The Press and other newspapers here and in Australia, plans to cut 550 jobs. It seems callous but I’m sure they’ve been trying to save us. Earlier this year we had a right big cutback on milk delivery. There were notes on our fridge explaining that milk was for tea and coffee only, not for drinking pure, nor for splashing all over breakfast cereal. If it sounds a little bit like one of those uncomfortable flatting situations, then that’s because it was. Then winter broke and we started getting little emails telling us the power bill was excessive. Of course, this was under the guise of saving the environment but again, it was like the anal flatmate discovering a fan heater in your bedroom.

Some time after the power-saving drive, we got a little reminder about the phone policy, which apparently means not phoning Grandma during the day. Angry Australian staff banded to vote a motion of no confidence in the Fairfax regime but I think we at The Press have been weakened. By the time we got the news that our jobs might be gone, our bones were too soft, our bodies too cold and our psyches too cut off from our lovely grandmothers to fight back. The announcement came from David Kirk, once a revered All Black who captained the team during our one Rugby World Cup win. I remember 1987, when he held the cup high above his head, now I wonder if it was filled with milk. Anyway, he has moved on and become an all-round corporate guy and big daddy of Fairfax.

He excused the butchering by sending an electronic announcement about job cuts using words like “growth and development” which are difficult to swallow when the only growth or development a job loss might give me is another dirty great coldsore from stress. It’s this corporate speak that really grates. I’m betting they sat at an oval table and blue-skied their ideas for a while before deciding the best practices to move forward and action the plan. If they’d really stir-fried enough ideas in the strategy wok, they could have cooked up more ways to cut costs and weaken our spirits before taking the jobs.

I am waiting to see printed instruction pamphlets describing how many tabs of toilet paper we can use for each sitting, depending on the type of business being done. Or they could cut out the free loo paper altogether and we could simply use newspapers. Maybe this is the readers’ fault? Next time you’re stuck for a gift idea, ditch the CD voucher and consider buying someone 30 copies of The Press instead.

Or perhaps we should be making funky things out of paper mache and selling them? Or will the redundant ones be using Mainlander to sleep under come Christmas?  Maybe we’ve all been fools. Have you heard of nominative determination? Our CEO’s surname is Withers. — The Press, Stuff.co.nz

Hello! joins the blog world That doyenne of the celebrity magazine world, Hello!, is offering readers’ of its website the chance to be an “official hellomagazine.com online blogger”. “If you have a passion for the celebrity scene, a real flair for expressing yourself in words, and the ability to do so in line with Hello’s renowned approach we’d like to hear from you,” ran an ad on the site. Despite only introducing its existing Stilettos at Dawn blog to its website in April, the magazine is to follow its Spanish sister title Hola in introducing readers blogs. — The Guardian

Your guide to the 8 most obnoxious internet commentors Under every video on YouTube or Break, and under every story on Digg or even right here on Cracked, there is a mini-culture that forms down in the comment section. The hit-and-run nature of the comments means it’s fertile ground for some really annoying personalities to thrive. These are the eight commenter personality types you’d most like to avoid, but can’t because they’re freaking everywhere. — Cracked.com

Leaked email alerts Ad men to sackings Struggling media agency Carat is planning a major restructuring of its U.S. operations, including an undetermined number of layoffs — news it accidentally released today via a memo the agency’s top New York-based HR executive e-mailed to the entire agency that appeared to be intended only for senior managers. In a rare, uncomfortable look into the preparations for employee layoffs, management informed its rank and file of forthcoming layoffs and other changes in Microsoft PowerPoint and Word documents full of “message” points on how people should be told of their fate and what should be said to their still-employed colleagues, clients and vendors. — AdAge Daily

If these cuts are breathtaking, what does that make Fairfax’s? The Daily Mirror is cutting staff on its news and picture desks as part of a cost-saving plan, with up to eight posts to go. On the Daily Mirror newsdesk, the number of jobs is being reduced from six to four, with the posts of deputy news editor and forward planner to be axed. The posts of foreign editor and picture editor will also be abolished as part of the cuts, which one Mirror insider described as “breathtaking”. But while eight posts are to be abolished, it is possible that only six staff will be affected because of potential voluntary redundancies and vacant positions not being filled. — The Guardian

Peter Fray

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