Peaches Geldof’s suprise marriage. Bob Geldof and Paula Yates’ daughter Peaches is living up to the family rockstar lifestyle rep. She’s pulled off a surprise Vegas wedding to a small time rock drummer, according to Defamer, which followed up by adding that Peaches had arrived home in Brittania without her new hubby in tow. Oh dear.

Did Ali Lohan, 14, get implants? Lindsay Lohan snapped when asked by paparazzi about the rumour that her 14 year old sister Ali had gotten boob implants: “My response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!” — Celebitchy

Is Linsday Lohan converting to judaism? Lohan is going to convert to Judaism for her lady love Samantha Ronson, or so goes the rumour. — Celebitchy

Pauline Hanson to get a dating reality show?! “Pauline Hanson has “confirmed she has been “casually” approached by Channel Seven to star in her own dating show in the tradition of Nine’s mega-hit A Farmer Wants A Wife”. Um, great. Ta, Defamer.

Hugh Jackman and Deborah Lee-Furness assure the world: Keith and Nichole’s baby isn’t a hideous ginger freak. That headline says it all, really. — Defamer

Britney Spears, predicatably bogan. She may be trying to rehabilitate her image as a celeb mom, but I don’t like you in that way isn’t buying: “Seriously, Britney? Tan lines? Cheetos? Sunkist? Jesus. Why not just put a hay straw Sean Preston’s mouth and have him play a washboard.”

Jennifer Aniston – so not engaged. “Hey, you remember all the rumors recently about how Jennifer Aniston is finally happy and that she and John Mayer are talking about marriage and kids? Yeah, apparently John Mayer was unaware of that.” — I don’t like you in that way


Peter Fray

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Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey