Another Sunday, another laddish FHM survey picked up and run as a story by the reputable papers.
In April, Crikey looked at the mileage given to an FHM poll that asked: do men prefer curvy or skinny women? (The answer: curvy apparently).
And now, from the No Sh-t Sherlock files, comes another searing poll. On 1 June, The Sun-Herald and Sunday Age reported:
Almost one in three Australian men want the reality of their bride wearing a white dress down the aisle to reflect the symbolism it’s supposed to represent.
Get Crikey FREE to your inbox every weekday morning with the Crikey Worm.
It’s gibberish too!
Of 57,000 men polled by men’s magazine FHM, 28 per cent hoped to marry a virgin, while 41 per cent wanted a bride who had five partners or fewer, and just 5 per cent wanted a bride who had slept with more than 15 men. The survey, which ran on the magazine’s website for two weeks last month, attracted mostly men in their late 20s, who had jobs and were university educated.
Why are we not surprised that the “on sale” date for July’s FHM edition is 2 June? A Wankley to the Fairfax papers for giving a free publicity kick to an ACP magazine.
It’s hardly worth the energy, but shall we take a moment to address the survey’s non-sequiturs.
28 per cent of Australian men hope to marry a v-rgin. As editor Jonathan Green asks: “Yeah, but which one?” Emphasis should be placed on the “hope” part of the poll perhaps.
The survey also makes the claim on behalf of “Australian men”, thereby assuming that if you’re an Australian man, then, ipso facto, you’re an FHM reader. We believe — nay hope — not.
What we can reasonably conclude is that of 57,000 men willing to respond to the online poll, 28 percent hope to marry a v-rgin. The church should feel revived by the stats.
By v-rgins, of course, we assume FHM means ones that aren’t above a little g-rl-on-g-rl action:
Leave a comment
So, if I read it right, then:
Of 57,000 men polled by men’s magazine FHM, 28 per cent hoped to marry a woman who wouldn’t know a dud-f*ck from a bagel (probably because it’s hard to distinguish a f*ck from one of those blokes and a bagel – both plain, rather uninteresting and not terribly nutritious), while 41 per cent wanted a bride who had limited sexual experience (“I’m NOT being competitive, honey, I just want to know that, as far as my mates go, you’re still a “mystery” and my BS about you will hold up in pub conversation”) and just 5 per cent wanted a bride who had her sh*t together in the cot and knew what she wanted (or is prepared to put up with) from her sexual partner.
FHM readers are pretty lame, eh? That’s my guess…
I too thought this was beyond absurd. I have methodological concerns: where’s the “don’t care” option, for starters? That would be the response of most men of my acquaintance. And I have concerns about the reportage: the shameless cross promotion, the FHM poll reported as fact, and that oddly garbled lede (“want the reality of their bride wearing a white dress down the aisle to reflect the symbolism it’s supposed to represent.” Seriously? Who let that through the editorial process?) But mostly I have philosophical concerns, ie, engaging in this kind of sexist crap in the first place, as if it’s 1812 and virginal women are still a property right for men of the landed classes. My god.
CRIKEY! Crikey. Is she wearing a strap on?