Another Sunday, another laddish FHM survey picked up and run as a story by the reputable papers.  

In April, Crikey looked at the mileage given to an FHM poll that asked: do men prefer curvy or skinny women? (The answer: curvy apparently).

And now, from the No Sh-t Sherlock files, comes another searing poll. On 1 June, The Sun-Herald and Sunday Age reported:

Almost one in three Australian men want the reality of their bride wearing a white dress down the aisle to reflect the symbolism it’s supposed to represent.

It’s gibberish too!

Of 57,000 men polled by men’s magazine FHM, 28 per cent hoped to marry a virgin, while 41 per cent wanted a bride who had five partners or fewer, and just 5 per cent wanted a bride who had slept with more than 15 men. The survey, which ran on the magazine’s website for two weeks last month, attracted mostly men in their late 20s, who had jobs and were university educated.

Why are we not surprised that the “on sale” date for July’s FHM edition is 2 June? A Wankley to the Fairfax papers for giving a free publicity kick to an ACP magazine.

It’s hardly worth the energy, but shall we take a moment to address the survey’s non-sequiturs.

28 per cent of Australian men hope to marry a v-rgin. As editor Jonathan Green asks: “Yeah, but which one?” Emphasis should be placed on the “hope” part of the poll perhaps.

The survey also makes the claim on behalf of “Australian men”, thereby assuming that if you’re an Australian man, then, ipso facto, you’re an FHM reader. We believe — nay hope — not.

What we can reasonably conclude is that of 57,000 men willing to respond to the online poll, 28 percent hope to marry a v-rgin. The church should feel revived by the stats.

By v-rgins, of course, we assume FHM means ones that aren’t above a little g-rl-on-g-rl action: