I was in the pantry when the lord and master popped his head in.

“Nee how, Jeeves.”

“Beg pardon, Sir?” I replied.

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“You know, it’s ‘How are you?’ in Chinese. Just practising the old Mandarin for my next China trip.”

“Of course, sir. Here’s today’s papers. Still warm from the iron if I may say so, sir.  Will you be wanting congee and jelly fish for breakfast sir?”

“I beg your pardon Jeeves?”

“Chinese breakfast sir. Just my little joke. In fact I thought you might take a little Oeufs Benedictine with a slice or two of smoked salmon and a latte.”

“Thank you Jeeves. Shall we leave the comedy for that young chap Karl Rove or whatever his name is?”

I had already spit-polished his seven pairs of shoes and they gleamed in the walk-in robe. I selected his suits, shirts and ties for the week ahead.

No tie for Wednesday though as he’s meeting some union officials and wants, as he told me “To show a little egalitarianism around here. We don’t want them thinking we’re wretched millionaires, like Malcolm and his capitalist cronies.”

Next I had to dust the matching Louis Vuitton matching luggage, his and mine, for our upcoming but as yet unannounced visit to Tokyo.

“Jeeves. What am I to do about these cabinet leaks? Sack a few public servant slackers do you think?”

“Are you sure it’s public servants sir? Could it not be a cabinet minister who disagrees with your policy?”

“Could never happen Jeeves. Cabinet ministers have a long history of loyalty and honesty. They would never betray confidential information to journalists. By the way, is the lad off to school yet Jeeves?”

“Nanny is just giving him porridge and soldiers and a boiled egg sir. She said she’ll make sure he’s wearing his galoshes and then he’s on his way sir.”

“Jolly good, Jeeves.”

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