FROM WEST WING SIDE STORY
(original lyrics here)
You lovely island
Island of votes in the sixties
Always the primary’s going
Even though no-one will be voting …*
You ugly island …
Like a pile of big donkey faeces
Still, this primary’s blowing **
Difficulties keep growing
Lead over McCain’s slowing
And the press is lying
And my buzz is dying
I like the fact that I’ve ALREADY WON!***
Which I may or may not have mentioned
I want to govern America
I want to govern America
Although its proving very hard
I want to frikkin govern America!
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I like Florida, Michigan
Then you can have half of them ****
Let a hundred flowers of thought bloom
Then decide it all in smoke-filled rooms *****
I’ve got the popular vote in America!
From getting the bloat in diners there!******
You’re going to split middle America!
And fiddle, while burns America! *******
I’ve torn you a new one in San Juan
A pity you’ve no pot to sh-t on
You’ve still got an insane pastor
Well … everyone thinks you’re a bastard ********
We’ll go all the way up to Denver
Though Democrat hopes may all end there
Just goes to show in America
Many jobs (snows) in America *********
(grovelling apologies to the usual…..)
* Hillary Clinton won the Puerto Rico primary with a vote in the high 60%ers. However, none of the people voting will be able to cast an actual vote in the election – the Democratic primary was invented years ago, as a sop to the wider Hispanic vote. The two dominant parties in Puerto Rico cut across the Republican-Democrat divide.
** Though Obama will win the Montana and South Dakota primaries, the Puerto Rico victory gives Hillary yet another meaningless symbolic occasion to disrupt the process of choosing a candidate.
*** Despite Puerto Rico, Hillary now has no chance of getting an actual majority, without tempting back some superdelegates who have already pledged to Obama. Obama now needs 2,118 delegates to win and is currently on 2,070.
**** The Democratic Rules Committee met on the weekend to sort out the problem of the Michigan and Florida delegations. The eventually agreed upon compromise was that all the delegates would be seated but only get half a vote each. Delegates would be awarded to Obama in Michigan (he wasn’t on the ballot) based on a complex proportional formula.
***** Hillary’s rep Harold Ickes argued that the deal was a blow against democracy and diversity in the part – and then said the whole deal would be referred to the Credentials committee, the ultimate backroom fix.
****** Hillary reiterated the claim that Obama’s inability to connect with common people – ie thru eating hideous foods at photo opps – indicates that he will lose the country
******* Hillary’s supporters practically disrupted the DRC meeting with loud chanting and walkouts
******** After the Trinity church featured another pastor doing a big pisstake of Hillary as an angry white witch, Obama quit his church
********* The origin of snow job is apparently either as an excuse for abseenteism at work (snowed in at home), or a military fake of embedded positions by piling up snow drifts. Interesting huh?