Former judge Marcus Einfeld maintains that it was indeed dead American academic Teresa Brennan who was driving his car when it was photographed by a speed camera, in what legal observers are calling a classic “Weekend at Bernie’s” defence.

Hollywood was left reeling this week as Jodie Foster publicly revealed that she was gay. In a similar, shocking, unexpected vein, the Pope came out and admitted he was catholic, and a bear called a press conference to confess to sh-tting in the woods.

Music pioneer, Ike Turner has beaten ex-wife Tina once again … to the grave.

CIA denies destroying video tape of waterboarding of terrorist suspects, claiming that after winning second prize with them on America’s Funniest Home Videos, the producers never sent the tape back.

The Canberra Times apologised for publishing a revealing front-page photograph of Maxine McKew in a short dress, talking to the man she displaced in the seat of Bennelong. McKew was in fact wearing underpants at the time, but there was still at least one c-nt in the picture.

After two uncounted votes turned up for outgoing member for McEwen, Fran Bailey, Liberals demand entire national recount on basis that they may find an extra million or so votes that had not been counted.

Deputy National leader Nigel Scullion says he is not embarrassed at being stripped to his underpants and tied to a pole in a Russian strip club, maintaining that this is the traditional manner in which his party selects the deputy leader.

Crown Casino has settled out of court with a problem gambler who was suing for his $30m losses with a “double or nothing” offer.

Ryan Air’s provocative calendar featuring air hostesses in skimpy outfits causes much controversy and much condemnation from the broadsheets, who reproduce the saucy pictures in their pages and websites in full glossy, high-definition colour.

After ‘boning’ Stephanie Brantz from its cricket coverage, Channel Nine defends itself saying it was merely upholding the strict interpretation of the no-ball rule. 

The AFL says it will not punish the Kangaroos for not moving to the Gold Coast as it announced that all their games for next season to be played at 7:30 Thursday mornings and are to be televised by Dubbo community access TV.