Yesterday, Crikey called for emails you’ve received from the office head honcho outlining correct Christmas party behaviour.

One poor reader writes: “I work for a large cultural institution (a museum) in Sydney. We didn’t receive any killjoy instructions re our Xmas party this year. Reason: there is no Xmas party for us in 07! Can anyone top that?”

Perhaps not, but here’s the latest Christmas-killing instalment. A “sensible and fun time” will be had, apparently… :

Hi All,

They don’t call it the silly season without good reason. As we will be celebrating our XXXX Christmas Party this Friday it is important that you all understand the following…

XXXX and XXXX has a ZERO tolerance policy on drugs within the workplace. This extends to before and during work functions. So please note, if ANYONE is suspected of taking any drugs before or during work on any work day, they can be asked to take a drug test and if found positive, will be instantly dismissed. This is also applicable to our staff function this Friday. This is not a joke. It is an extremely serious matter. There are NO exceptions.

Please also note that it is not acceptable to begin drinking before we are seated at the café on Friday. XXXX will supply an adequate amount of alcohol for everyone to have a sensible and fun time. If anyone is suspected of having consumed alcohol before the function, they will be told to leave the function and take unpaid leave for the remainder of the day and will be given a formal warning upon their return to work on Monday.

Thank you all for your complete understanding on this very serious matter. Lets not let any silly behaviour get in the way of what should be a great afternoon.

Kind Regards

Have you received a similar message from your company? Have a Christmas office party horror story? Send it to [email protected]