From: Principal Rudd & Ja’mie Gillard
To: All Labor MPs & Senators
Subject: Visits to aged pensioners and look after a disabled person for a day
As you should all be aware via the media, my latest edict is that you all spend time with aged pensioners and help look after a disabled person for a day.
The following rules need to be noted.
- My care for people with a disability is reflected by my decision to abolish the position of Minister for Disabilities and Minister for Carers.
- Next week, be prepared for a lunch with an anorexic or bulimic; a fun run with an obese individual and watching Brendan Nelson interviews with an intellectually handicapped teenager.
- For those of you unable to travel to view a workplace full of disabled people, you have the option of spending a day in Jenny Macklin’s office.
- Justine Elliot may have to look up the words “aged care”, especially now she is the Minister. Justine – they’re the ones who drool, and we’re not referring to Alan Griffin and Kim Carr.
- Robert Ray appears to frighten old people, who may require trauma counselling. Robert has been excused from visiting an aged care home.
- Belinda Neil – John Dela Bosca already looks after a disabled person.
- Laurie Ferguson, Kate Lundy and Kerry O’Brien should consider filling out a resident’s application form.
- Bob McMullan is already in an aged care home, so he is excused.
- Maxine McKew has been asked not to dance in front of old people or those with pacemakers – however her dance routine apparently goes down very well with the disability sector.
- Anthony Albanese is not to use these visits to sign dementia patients to his sub-branches.