Despite natty suits, rugby union and an obvious love of Show Tunes, the Federal Cabinet members continue to hush their inner fag.
Actually, for the purposes of discussion, let’s call him Craig. I like to think of him as a hardbodied 42-year-old honky who visits the same gifted dentist as Malcolm Turnbull. His favourite song is Close to You .
Meaningful manoeuvres regarding Craig’s future, it seems, have been indefinitely deferred in Cabinet discussions.
It is generally supposed that a range of recommendations by the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission provided the basis for debate. Attorney-General Philip Ruddock this week proposed reforms which would impact on 58 separate pieces of legislation.
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And, no, I didn’t read up on all of them. And even if I had, the subsequent abstract would be just about as significant as, say, sales figures for Barbra Streisand’s Christmas hit, It Must Have Been the Mistletoe . Or, indeed, if you ask Craig, perhaps less so. It doesn’t matter, now. Discussion has been stalled.
Now, unless you recently installed a clockwork mouse where your brain used to be, you’d probably find the recommended reforms quite reasonable. They’re moderate and, according to supporters, they shan’t be troublesome to enact. As the loyal and lawful heir to cultural liberalism, all Craig wants is the recognition of his relationship as de facto.
That is de facto. Do not suppose for a moment that you will be required to attend legally sanctioned Same-S-x unions and honour the opulent demands of Craig’s gift registry. Calm down. Both the major parties are aghast at the thought of Flower Boys and Hers N Hers matching towel gift sets.
The gentle, now abandoned, recommendations would not have collided with straight reality at all. As far as I see it, they would (a) enable individual freedom through conferring equal rights to same-s-x couples and (b) significantly reduce the amount of money my girlfriend and I give to our solicitor to dodge legal antiquities. Superannuation, in particular, is a bitch.
According to some analysis, Howard did not seem particularly reluctant to skip down this legislative yellow brick node. No Friends of Dorothy, it was, reportedly, Tony Abbott and Kevin Andrews who refastened the hinges on Craig’s closet door.
The High Camp of Low Evangelists continues to quash debate in this election year.