Re-training The Parrot. Will The Parrot, Ray Hadley and Chris Smith be included in a new training regime that 2GB has agreed to with the media regulator, ACMA? It’s all about a bit of re-education for the on-air, producing and research staff at 2GB on the nuances of vilification. ACMA announced the new deal with 2GB’s operator, Harbour Radio, a subsidiary of Macquarie Radio network, in a media release posted on its website. But who will they get in to do the training? It’s a pity Jones has to be part of the class. After being a former teacher with extensive experience educating juveniles in Brisbane and at Kings School in Sydney, he would be ideally placed to give the malcontents at 2GB a firm hand and some inspiring guidance. — Glenn Dyer

Seven forgets The Poo’s Age of Love. It could only have been an oversight, but what a slip-up. The highlight of the Seven Network’s second half ratings armory was forgotten in the network’s publicity blitz yesterday. Amid all the hoopla about the almost instant turnarounds for Prison Break and Heroes after their new series start in the US later in the year, and the advent of Kath and Kim, City Homicide and Australia’s Best Backyards, Mark Philippoussis’ new US dating show Age of Love was left out of the media release. So Seven issued a second statement yesterday redressing the Poo’s omission. There were just 6.9 million viewers on its first outing on NBC last week in the US, which ranked it third behind a couple of repeats. Age of Love will be on Seven at 8.30pm on Thursdays from July 12, up against Nine’s new costly drama, Sea Patrol. What this shows is the belief at Seven that Sea Patrol is going to be a ratings blockbuster and that the network has written off Thursday nights until it ends after 13 weeks from 5 July, so Poo and his gals have been allotted the task of being the sacrificial ratings loser for the network in that timeslot. It couldn’t happen to be a nicer program! But Seven will be maintaining its split coverage on Thursday nights. Age of Love will screen Thursdays at 8.30pm in Sydney and Brisbane after the first season of US drama Heroes wraps up next week. In Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth, where Lost screens at 8.30pm, Age of Love will be shown at air at 9.30pm. — Glenn Dyer

Bold and beautiful ratings for Ten. What’s the best performing program in daytime TV? It’s not Dr Phil on Ten or Seven’s new 9am program, The Morning Show. Days of Our Lives does OK, as does the midday movie on Seven, while Ten’s Ready Steady Cook is a bit predictable. No, the standout performer is Ten’s 4.30pm soap, The Bold and the Beautiful. Ten, which needs a few success stories at the moment after a disappointing front end to the ratings year says Monday’s audience for TB&B was a record 568,000: “Australia’s most popular daytime soap commands on average, 44.7% of the commercial audience each afternoon from 4.30-5pm.” Of course it helps that this week’s episodes were shot in and around Sydney, but every bit helps. It’s averaging over half a million viewers each day and gives Ten’s news at 5pm a great lead-in. — Glenn Dyer

Last night’s TV ratings
The Winners: A big night for Seven last night: winners by more than 13 points over Ten and will win the week as a result. Nine ran third, again. 16 programs with a million or more viewers. It Takes Two was tops with 1.717 million viewers from 7.30pm to 9.20pm. Seven News had 1.603 million, Today Tonight got 1.450 million and All Saints at 9.30pm with 1.435 million. A Current Affair was next with 1.264 million, Nine News followed 1.262 million. Ten’s Tuesday ep of The Simpsons averaged 1.237 million at 8pm and Seven’s Home and Away was 8th with 1.232 million and won the 7pm slot. Nine’s Temptation was close behind with 1.216 million. The new ep of The Simpsons at 7.30pm averaged 1.197 million people. The 7pm ABC News had 1.171 million, Ten’s repeat of NCIS was next with 1.155 million and Nine’s Crime and Justice (AKA The Code) was next with 1.151 million at 7.30pm. Seven’s Deal Or No Deal averaged 1.055 million at 5.30pm (out of prime time). Nine’s 8pm program, Neighbours At War averaged 1.032, million (could we do a program like that at Macquarie Fields or other troubled suburbs in Sydney for instance and get away with it?) and 7pm Big Brother averaged 1.007 million.  Carbon Cops on the ABC at 8pm averaged 817,000.
The Losers: No losers really, just a couple of average performers. Below average was CSI New York again for Nine last night at 8.30pm. Just 850,000 viewers. Not really good enough and not helping Mick Molloy’s The Nation (575,000). Numb3rs with 976,000 was second, All Saints way out in front. If Nine was trying last night, it’s firing blanks.

News & CA: Seven News again won nationally and in every market. Today Tonight won everywhere bar Brisbane. The 7.30 Report averaged 888,000, down 280,000 from the news. Lateline averaged 209,000, Lateline Business 131,000 (Emma Alberici is hosting. Ali Moore is doing drive in Melbourne on 774 and then two weeks of The 7.30 Report when Kerry O’Brien has holidays). Ten News, 912,000, the Late News/Sports Tonight, 434,000. SBS News, 198,000 at 6.30pm, 128,000 at 9.30pm. The Morning Show on Seven at 9am, 217,000, its lowest so far, but Kerri Anne on Nine at 9am, 119,000 and 9am with David and Kim on Ten, 99,000. 7am Sunrise down to 400,000, 7am Today down to 262,000 on tour. It won in Melbourne yesterday, lost Melbourne on Monday where it started the tour.
The Stats: Seven won with a share of 36.3% (33.4% last Tuesday night) from Ten with 22.8% (23.6%), Nine on 21.9% (23.0%), the ABC on 15.1% (unchanged) and SBS on 3.8% (4.8%). Seven won all five markets. In Perth, Nine’s share fell to 17.8%, Ten was on 24.1% and Seven was on 39.0%. WIN has its work cut out making the $163.2 million buy pay off. Seven now leads the week 30.9% to 26.6% for Nine. In regional areas a win to Prime/7Qld with 35.0%, Southern Cross was second for Ten with 24.1% Nine was third through WIN/NBN with 23.1%, the ABC was on 13.2% and SBS was on 4.7%.
Glenn Dyer’s comments: As I wrote on Monday, Seven has troublesome timeslots at the moment, Nine and Ten have troublesome nights. Last night was one of those for Nine, a little less so for Ten. Ten did well with a couple of repeats, Seven with fresh programs. Nine tried all new programs as well, and ran third behind Ten and its repeats of Simpsons and NCIS and a fresh Numb3rs. That says something about the way viewers look at Nine offerings. It Takes Two did extra well. There are a couple of more eps of It Takes Two, then Ten and Nine might do a little better Tuesday nights because Seven plans on running as yet unannounced programs from 7.30 to 8.30pm and All Saints an hour earlier. That will last for a number of weeks until the next series of Dancing With The Stars starts, probably in late August. Tonight the ABC has a fresh ep of Spicks and Specks and then starts repeats of the ‘best’ Chaser programs of 2006. It will be interesting to compare audiences for these programs which aired late on Friday nights. The Chaser has gone from cult viewing to champions. The ABC has another Pom spoof Sci-Fi program at 9.30pm — Red Dwarf-like? Nine has McLeod’s Daughters, Cold Case and Without A Trace. Ten has new House, medium and Big Brother (and a repeat of the Simpsons at 7.30pm, which really means, nothing else to put there) Seven has Last Chance Learners, Police Files, Air Crash Investigations in Sydney and Brisbane, Heroes elsewhere and Prison Break. The Unit returns at 10.30pm. Nine, narrowly, but it does depend on how The Chaser repeats go. Ten’s House could grab extra viewers. Michael Parkinson announced his retirement from the end of his next series on ITV in Britain. The ABC has only 12 more Parkies to go later in the year and in summer. A couple more to go of the current series. Parkie and Tony Blair gone on the same day! Now why doesn’t someone like Andrew Denton, who has done two interesting and amusing interviews with Parkie, do something to mark the end of the career. A million people watched the recut (with some new material) of the Parkie interview on Monday night. There’s a strong interest there.

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