In the great tradition of Abbott and Costello and The Three Stooges, Crikey brings you the transcript of the really interesting bit of the “Hungry Jacks” tapes — the argument between a Perth building site official and Construction Forestry Mining and Energy Union national secretary Dave Noonan over who’ll climb down the ladder first:

Official: Please leave the site.

CFMEU national secretary Dave Noonan: I’m leaving the site.

Official: You’re not leaving the site, you’re standing stationary.

Noonan: Yeah, because you’re arguing with me.

Official: I’m not arguing, leave the site.

Noonan: Do you want to escort me down?

Official: Get off the ladder.

Noonan: You want to escort me?

Official: Yes, you first, go.

Noonan: Well, what about you go down first and then I’ll come.

Official: No, you go down first. Dave, I’m not arguing with you, leave the site you’re trespassing.

Noonan: I’m prepared to leave the site.

Official: Then leave the site!

Noonan: You go down the ladder first and I’ll follow you.

Official: (You stand back and film all this, this is ridiculous.)

Noonan: My concern …

Official: Thank you, Dave , you’ve raised your concerns, see you Dave.

Noonan: Are you going to escort me off the site?

Official: Soon as you walk down the ladder.

Noonan: I want you to escort me off the site coz this bloke’s just laid his hands on me.

Official: Soon as you walk down the ladder, Dave, I don’t trust you coz I’ve asked you to leave the site and you’re refusing the leave the site, you are now trespassing. You are now trespassing.

Noonan: I’m asking if you can guide me down the ladder, I don’t think it’s a very safe ladder.

Crikey has obtained more explosive footage of a heated IR negotiation between a worker and employer that ended with the employee spreadeagled on the floor. Click here.