Victoria’s Civil and Administrative Tribunal has made a contentious finding that Melbourne gay bar The Peel may exclude heterosexual patrons and thus preserve the homogeneity of its exclusive clientele. Fair enough, but enforcing this new straight ban may present problems for door staff at the inner city Collingwood pub. I mean, how do you tell?

We here present several cases in point, groups that may or may not contain thirsty homos-xuals. Do you have an unequivocal eye for a queer guy?

A: They’re all in frocks, but is that really a reliable guide to s-xual inclination? 

B: The answer here is pretty simple. They are clearly a couple. The duck may have to stay outside.


C: The purple one. Obvious. 

D: All of the below.

E: This is getting silly. But the guy with the beard looks a pretty typical Peel drinker.

F: As it happens Snow White was the queer one.

G: Take your pick.