That Panorama Scientology video. Oh dear:

Gratuitous Eurovision winner YouTube clip. For KD Lang impersonations, Serbian Charlie’s Angels and palm hearts, click here.

Even the Logies can’t give Nine a ratings week. For the first time ever the Nine Network has lost a TV ratings week in which the Logies broadcast was held. Seven won the prime time battle last week to notch up its 13th win a row. With the big win last Sunday for the Logies, Nine had perhaps its best chance of beating Seven over the week for the first time this year, but Seven won the week with 29.4% (29.2%) from Nine with 28.5% (27.2%) Ten with 21.4% (22.1%), the ABC with 14.9% (15.6%) and SBS with 5.8% (5.9%). Nine won Sydney 29.3% to 29.2%, Seven won Melbourne, Brisbane and Adelaide by less than a point but had a bigger, five point win in Perth which cemented its national margin. With the Logies doing well on Sunday night, Nine established a 7.5 point lead and looked to have a real chance of staying in front, but by the end of ratings on Tuesday night Seven had closed to within half a point of Nine and then moved into the lead on Wednesday. Nine won Thursday as expected with combination of the Footy Shows and the final ep of Missing Persons Unit in Sydney and a recap program called RPA: Where Are They Now in Melbourne (which comes to Sydney and Brisbane this week). Seven scored a bigger win on Friday night thanks to the News, Today Tonight and Better Home and Gardens winning from 6pm to 8.30pm. The AFL won Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth, offsetting Nine’s wins in Sydney and Brisbane with the NRL games from 7.30pm. On Saturday night Nine thought it had stronger programming and hoped that the combination of Funniest Home Videos at 6.30pm, Primeval at 7.30pm and yet another repeat of Crocodile Dundee at 8.30pm would allow it to catch up. It won, but only just, 27.6% to 27.3%, and Seven was home. Nine has a shortage of middling programs that can hold up a timeslot, coupled with an absence of blockbusters that can offset Dancing With The Stars and It Takes Two . Nine has high hopes for Sea Patrol  but it is only 13 episodes, the maximum for Government assistance. It won’t be enough to achieve a long ratings dominance like McLeod Daughter’s  did until the past year. — Glenn Dyer

Karl Stefanovic: protected parrot?  Not the warmest of welcomes for Lisa Wilkinson on the Today show on Friday with co-host Karl Stefanovic not in the studio (he was opening a pie shop in Queensland for charity) and Kelli Connolly up in North Queensland doing a Mother’s Day promotion. It left the impression of a less than enthusiastic reception for Wilkinson who actually remarked on the absence of the hosts. Wilkinson starts on Today in fortnight by when it’s hoped her co-host won’t be such a protected species. Anyone wondering why Stefanovic continues to survive while indifferent ratings are blamed on his four former female co-hosts should remember who Karl’s loyal protector is. None other than Alan Jones — he of the 7.15am spot on Today . Jones has been in Karl’s corner for more than a year and has reportedly told Nine management that any attempt to get rid of Stefanovic will be resisted by the 2BG breakfast host, who has a loyal following among the target audience for many Nine programs, the over 55 viewers. Nine presently has more over 55 viewers than even the ABC and Today out rates rival Sunrise in this group. — Glenn Dyer

Nine’s Lost Tribes lost on viewers .  The Lost Tribes , one of Nine’s most hyped programs of 2007 started poorly last week and looks to be suffering due its trans-Tasman production (Nine and TVNZ). Australian and New Zealand production houses are both involved and from reports there have been conflicting views. It rated 991,000 on its first outing and last night shed 20,000 to average 971,000 in another uninspiring episode. The program’s lack of success has drawn the ire of supporters in the Nine programming department who now refer to it as “rubbish” (a milder version of their true feelings). It’s earnestly told, with no flair or imagination, and repetitious to the point of wondering if they shot enough sequences on location. And what is the point of having people complain to a professional TV camera and the person operating it? It just doesn’t ring true. It would have been more believable if the families were given a couple of digital video cameras to do persona/family diaries with. It’s the lack of intimacy that is noticeable and the host “Tribes” are still the real stars with dignity and a refusal to be “corrupted” by white man’s TV production. It’s a pity the producers couldn’t have learned that lesson and edited the series accordingly. It was well beaten by Seven’s Where Are They Now (1.383 million) and Ten’s Big Brother (1.085 million), and the combination of the ABC’s Einstein Factor (841,000) and the 7pm ABC News with 1.127 million. Fourth spot was probably the best measure of how unattractive The Lost Tribes is as a TV production.

Anarchy in the broadsheets. Incongruous might be the word for this. Subscribers to the venerable Sunday Times received an email yesterday urging them to pick up a print copy of the paper to receive a free CD celebrating 30 years of punk: “To celebrate 30 years of punk, The Sunday Times has two exclusive CDs for every reader. Volume 1, available on Sunday 13 May, includes tracks from the S-x Pistols, The Damned, Blondie, The Stranglers, The Buzzcocks and X-Ray Spex…”

Last night’s TV ratings
The Winners: Nine won last night but after the way it let a big gain Sunday night slip away, you’d have be backing Seven to win the week already. 12 programs had a million or more viewers. 60 Minutes was number one with 1.549 million people, Seven News was next with 1.460 million, Where Are They Now averaged 1.383 million For Seven at 6.30pm; Nine News averaged 1.315 million, Grey’s Anatomy , 1.258 million at 8.30pm for Seven, Ugly Betty , 1.154 million at 7.30pm for Seven. The 7pm ABC News averaged a solid 1.127 million people, CSI Miami , 1.114 million at 9.30pm; the Big Brother Double Eviction 1.085 million from, 7.30pm (and the 6.30 program, 930,000). Robin Hood on the ABC averaged 1.035 million at 7.30pm and Rove , on Ten at 8.30 averaged 1.004 million. Bastard Boys on the ABC from 8.30pm to 10.20pm averaged 972,000. The Lost Tribes on Nine at 6.30pm, 971,000. Viewing levels were a touch light because of Mother’s Day.

The Losers: Seven’s 9.30pm soap, What About Brian , 686,000. More like Where are the Viewers? The Eurovision contest final on SBS, 432,000. Not a loser, just no where else to put it.

News & CA: Seven News again won nationally and in every market but Sydney where Nine won. The NRL is helping Nine in Sydney but not in Brisbane. Ten News averaged 578,000. In the morning Seven’s Weekend Sunrise was solid with 432,000, Nine’s Sunday unchanged on 208,000, Landline on the ABC averaged 175,000; Insiders on the ABC at 9am, 134,000; Offsiders on the ABC at 10.30am, 116,000; Inside Business on the ABC, 91,000.

The Stats: Nine won with a share of 27.8 (38.0% for the Logies last week) from Seven on 25.2% (25.6%), Ten with 20.7% (18.9%), the ABC with 18.7% (13,2%) and SBS with 7.6% (4.2%). Nine won Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth. Seven won Melbourne. In regional areas a bigger win to Nine trough WIN/NBN with 30.7% from Prime/7Qld with 25.0%, the ABC with 19.3%, Southern Cross (Ten with) 19.0% and SBS with 6.0%

Glenn Dyer’s comments: Nine would have been unhappy with the performance of The Lost Tribes : more like The Lost Viewers. The ABC would have been expecting more for the first part of Bastard Boys . The 972,000 was OK but not the million plus the broadcaster felt it deserved. The ABC’s loyal, mostly pro-union viewers, stayed away (the ABC got well over a million for the Curtin bio doc a couple of weeks ago: Bastard Boys was more contemporary. Will the audience return tonight for the second part? Maybe not. Chris Corrigan has told friends he thought it slow and wondered why anyone would return for part two. We will know this time tomorrow. The program peaked at 1.033 million in the slot 8.45 to 9pm and then fell slowly away to finish on an average of 944,300. Not a big drop-off but enough to hint that the audience tonight might not be solid. The disclaimer at the very start of the program was inserted after advance screenings to interested parties last month and there were changes in script and scenes when it was changed from four parts of 55 minutes or so to two parts of an hour and 50 minutes.Tonight Seven should move in front if past weeks are any guide. Seven has The Rich List , Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters. Nine has What’s Good For You , 1 vs 100 and CSI New York . Ten has lots of Big Brother and Supernatural and the ABC has a better Australian Story tonight than a week ago and then the second part of Bastard Boys .