Australian Workplace Agreement

Contracting Parties: The Australian Labor Party and Julia Gillard MP


1. The employee will be required to embrace significant policy flexibility, particularly in regard to industrial relations issues. While the party’s federal leadership may strive for some sort of common law compromise to placate the demands of the resource sector, Ms Gillard will be required  to hold a divergent line and argue it with considerable insistence. This will be done to give added effect to the leader’s eventual announcement of a politically adventurous compromise, placing party policy at odds with the union movement. A real vote winner and a triumph for fiscal conservatism more broadly. 

2. From this point, as previously discussed, Ms Gillard will be required to temper all observations on IR issues, use entirely conciliatory language when addressing any senior member of the mining industry and focus instead on transition-to-government arrangements.     

3. The removal of certain pre-exisiting conditions will be compensated within the terms of the proposed ”Deputy Prime Minister” package, a new agreement to be signed as appropriate. 

4. Ms Gillard may continue to dress like an Iranian public broadcast newsreader entirely at her own discretion.