We’ve had a great response to our “What’s in Howard’s briefcase” competition with many quality entries published of the last two days but there can only be one winner of the Samsonite 900 series Vanquish leather laptop briefcase.
That winner is Alister Air for his entry:
Philip Ruddock’s soul, Alexander Downer’s brain, Peter Costello’s courage and Tony Abbott’s heart.
We’ve also selected five honourable mentions:
David Dawes writes: Various cheeses.
Hank van Apeldoorn writes: Prime Minister Howard has not been able to open his black briefcase for some time now (it was rumoured that he had it with him because he thought the American military might have been able to open it). The briefcase is supposed to contain the Howard Government’s policies on research, innovation and ideas for Australia’s future in a time of climate change, that is, a vacuum.
Andrew Bomm writes: Tricks.
Ella James writes:
- Pecks spread sandwiches on white bread wrapped in greaseproof paper, courtesy of Janette and a banana, ditto.
- No modern communications technology (No pda, no mobile phone, no iPod). There’s no need for all that technology, besides, if the PM travels outside the capital cities (requiring a pressed uniform of Moleskins, chambray shirt and Squatters Akubra…Thanks Janette) he won’t have any reception anyway!
- A Sony Walkman and some cassettes of Richard Clayderman, Kamahl and Julie Anthony.
- Reading material (The Da Vinci Code perhaps? Janette told him it was a gripping read).
- Nasal hair trimmer, spectacle cleaner and cloth and a black satin sleep mask with “Off with the Fairies” embroidered in pink.
- Travel Scrabble, tracksuit, Dunlop volleys, a spare Bonds singlet, some paisley boxer shorts and a thesaurus.
Stephen Flamer-Smith writes:
- Draft CV
- Draft job applications to Macquarie Bank, PBL and Airline Partners Australia, each contains proforma “your application has been successful” response for ease of use.
- RBA bank cheque from Dept of Education made payable to Exclusive Brethren for “school counselling services – election 2007”
- Large dossier marked “Costello dirt – media release” embargoed to 2008 (handwritten note – “may need to amend to June 2007 – JH”).
- US citizenship application – completed in pencil as far as “Are you a terrorist?” question.
- Letter from brother Stan – Starts “John, I’ve got myself in a spot of bother, sorry to do this to you again but can you please make the following changes to legislation…”
- ASIO briefing “List of countries with no ICHR treaty”
- Plastic covered picture of George W’s face photoshopped onto Janette’s body.
- Julie Bishop’s knickers (he wishes), Alexander Downer’s stockings (true).
- Worldwide phrasebook – contains the phrase “On the advice I was given…” in 200 languages
- Offer from Hollywood agent for role in next Thunderbirds film.