The news last week that a Ku Klux Klan group (The White Legion Knights of the KKK) was attempting to recruit in the Queensland city of Toowoomba via a leaflet campaign has been blown somewhat out of proportion and is just a little bit pathetic. Surely a proper Invisible Empire would never do anything as tacky as sticking propaganda (American propaganda! Very UnAustralian) under people’s windscreen wipers. It’s just not the done thing.

The Mayor (Dianne Thorley), the local members (Industry Minister Ian Macfarlane and Queensland Attorney-General Kerry Shine) and Premier Peter Beattie have all come out slamming the pamphlets. Just how worried should they actually be?

Let’s put this group into perspective. There’s already a KKK group operating in Australia — they’re called the Invisible Empire of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan of Australia and the organisation is run (Grand Wizarded) by a bloke called David Palmer, a retired electrician who divides his time between doing his bit for the incredibly beleaguered white race and sinking beer at his local RSL. Unlike these classless Toowoomba sheet-heads, he reportedly does much of his recruiting the old fashioned way: in mental institutions and jails.

The crowning achievement of the IEKKKKA has probably been the establishment of their 100% Aryan Breeding Program, wherein women wishing to ensure the racial integrity of their offspring can (for a small fee) do the “horizontal Austrian polka” with Dave or one of his kamaraden. To date there have been no takers.

We are possibly not dealing with the cream of the crop of Australian society. The fact that Dave completely disavows any connection to this new group and disparagingly refers to them as “the Toowoomba Centrelink Mob” speaks volumes as to just how insignificant they are. If these losers can’t even organise themselves some jobs, how are they expected to organise a cross burning (it’s actually harder than you’d think).

The authorities should definitely keep an eye on them (in case they should grow beyond what we estimate are 5-10 members), but as Dr Mark Copland from the Catholic Social Justice Commission has pointed out, there are actually more important racial issues in Toowoomba for Di, Ian, Kez and Pete to be dealing with. Perhaps the shocking state of Aboriginal education and health should be prioritised above the activities of a few losers in bedsheets.

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Peter Fray
Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey
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