S-xing up politics. Victorian politicians face an unprecedented challenge at this weekend’s poll. If they’re heading into the tally room, they have to be absolutely sure that they use the right door. The tally room will be in Jeff’s Shed, the Melbourne Exhibition and Convention Centre. But something else is also on at the MECC that night – S-xpo, the “health, s-xuality and lifestyle expo”. Turn up at the wrong place and they might find themselves the subject of an unusual photo-op. S-xpo’s organisers say that despite the hefty $25 entry fee that they “expect more than 70,000+ adults to come along to be educated, entertained and titillated”. The Victorian Electoral Commission has the opposite problem. Some people get a hard-on for politics, but the VEC has to threaten punters with penalties to get them to the ballot boxes. But both S-xpo and voting are activities for consenting adults. They’re restricted to over-18s.

Lonely heart Lindsay woos the voters. Lindsay Tanner, Labor MHR for Melbourne, has found the perfect way to turn back the rising Green tide in the inner city. It might be full of ferals, but it’s also stuffed with singletons – and Lindsay’s bringing love into their lives. He’s been there. He knows what these poor people crave. In his column in the Herald Sun today he tells “I had a sudden unwelcome burst of single status in my early 40s… We’re all insecure about our own attractiveness, sometimes with good reason. It’s easy to get discouraged and withdraw into your shell”. But then he says “I got lucky and somehow found the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.” You might be a crusty from Collingwood, but there’s a wonderful man there for you – your federal MP, Lindsay Tanner.

Peter Fray

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