When you spend as much time “on air” as Labor’s shadow foreign minister Kevin Rudd, it must be hard to avoid repeating yourself. Especially when you have a few well-crafted phrases that can be applied to so many situations: 

SHOWERING THE OPPOSITION:

  • On the US alliance, foreign policy and Iraq, Rudd said “John Howard actually needs to take a cold shower.”
  • On claims that the Australian troops sent to Dili could not restore order, Rudd suggestedeveryone needs to take a cold shower…”
  • Just today, after accusing Alexander Downer of sprinkling angry pills on his Weet-Bix over the Solomon Islands/PNG brawl, Rudd said Mr Downer “needs to take a long cold shower … because this is not just about Mr Downer being hairy-chested…”

THINGS GET HAIRY:

  • On Australia’s increasingly strained relationship with the Solomon Islands, Rudd suggests Alexander Downer isn’t helping “by using all sorts of hairy-chested language.”
  • The Prime Minister has been “hairy chested” too, especially when defending his doctrine of military pre-emption.
  • Further, the problem with the Government’s approach … to South-East Asia is one of “hairy-chestedness in following doctrines of pre-emption…”

HOME TRUTHS:

  • In case people weren’t clear on that, Rudd reminded the electorate in 2005 that the “Government (has) a longstanding record now of being loose with the truth on national security.”
  • And on the reasons Australia decided to join the Iraq war, Rudd said “the Government also appears to have been fundamentally loose with the truth — Honest John loose with the truth…

Just don’t get him started on how many it takes to tango or schoolyard bullies.

Peter Fray

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