Australians, take a bow. Not only
are we about to cream the Poms in just about everything at the
Commonwealth Games, but it appears that our indefatigable Tourism
Minister Fran Bailey has bloody well convinced the bloody bastards that they bloody well can’t ban “bloody” in our bloody tourism ads.

The
“Where the bloody hell are you?” advertisements could be on British TV
as early as this weekend after regulatory authorities agreed to review
their ban on the use of the word “bloody”.

Fabulous Fran has had her triumph. And it’s a triumph that’s being compared by Canberra insiders to the “Party Games” episode of Yes, Minister, where Jim Hacker has to deal with a European directive on the standardisation of sausages.

The
Eurocrats are demanding that the British banger be relabelled that
Emulsified High-Fat Offal Tube. Naturally, such an encroachment on
British sovereignty cannot be sustained. Hacker takes a stand. No
further European standardisation will take place if the sausage gets
singed. Brussels backs downs. Honour is saved. The British sausage will
remain the British sausage. Le saucisson anglais. Salsicee inglese. Britischerwurst. Hacker becomes prime minister.

After
losing her seat in 1993 while a shadow minister and failing to
distinguish herself as a parliamentary secretary or as minister for
employment services, this is Fran Bailey’s moment. What tumultuous
welcome will greet her on her return?

Peter Fray

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