The normally mild-mannered Workplace Relations Minister Kevin Andrews
didn’t quite seem to come down with St Vitus’s Dance in the chamber yesterday as
he dealt with a dixer on donations from the labour movement to the Labor Party – an earth shattering
revelation that – but there seem to be some diseased minds in his office.

He finished by tabling a stack of documents:

I table a
compendium of activities of this branch stacking which has been going on in the
Victorian ALP, involving registered organisations, with many of the players
here, including those who are challenging the member for Hotham, the member for
Corio and the member for Maribyrnong. In addition to that, I produce for the
interest of honourable members a flow chart which shows the interlocking
relationships between these various players. This is sleazy, secret branch
stacking – sleazy, secret buying and selling of places in the House of

And he then sent them out on his press release list. For some reason, they weren’t up on the media section of his website
when we checked this morning, but this is what they are.

First there’s a two-page release on the Labor preselection rows in
Victoria. Fair enough.
Make hay while the sun shines.

Then there’s a document headed “Stacks, Slush Funds and Factions: The
ALP in Victoria”. This is 16
pages long. OK, so the bruvvers in Victoria like a stoush.
But this is a little obsessive.

What is really
bizarre, however, is this map (click for full size version): “Flow chart of the
stacks, slush funds and factions in the Victorian ALP”. Do we really need to
know about pollies’ ex-wives – or ex-lovers? They’re detailed on the diagram.

Where’s all this
come from? Andrews is better known for sanctimony than sh*t sheets. Perhaps we
should look at his staff. Perhaps the idea of a government dirt unit wasn’t
just a figment of Mark Latham’s imagination. And perhaps we’ve just witnessed
its return.