America’s late-night TV hosts still can’t get enough of the VP-shoots-his-lawyer story, following Dick Cheney’s first interview on the subject
.


“Dick
Cheney and his buddies go down there hunting in Texas, and Dick Cheney
guns down a guy. And they’re hunting quail, and the quail disappeared.
They vanished. And reports now that they’re hiding in the mountainous
area near Pakistan” – David Letterman

“See, this is why
Republicans have to commit white collar crimes to steal money. They’re
just not good with guns, they don’t know how to handle them.” – Jay Leno

“He
sat down for a one-on-one with Fox News. Very bold choice. Dick Cheney
sitting down with Fox News is like Mrs. Butterworth sitting down with
the Pancake Channel.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“If this story gets any bigger, pretty soon they’re going to have to tell the president.” – David Letterman

“What
a nightmare I had last night. I dreamed I was at a Washington party and
I had to choose between Dick Cheney taking me on a hunting trip or Ted Kennedy driving me home.” – Jay Leno

“It
turns out now that Dick Cheney did not have a license to hunt, and
coincidentally, turns out we didn’t have a license to go into Iraq.”
– David Letterman

“Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It’s Dick Cheney.” – David Letterman

“The
big scandal apparently is that they didn’t release the news for 18
hours. I don’t think that’s a scandal at all. I’m quite pleased about
that. Finally there’s a secret the vice president’s office can keep.”
– Craig Ferguson

Meanwhile, Dubya’s defence
of his veep couldn’t have been penned better by a comedy writer : “I
thought the vice president handled the issue just fine … I thought
his explanation yesterday was a powerful
explanation. This is a man who likes the outdoors and he likes to hunt.
And he heard a bird flush and he turned and pulled the trigger and saw
his friend get wounded. And it was a deeply traumatic moment for him,
and obviously for the – it was a tragic moment for Harry Whittington.”

Peter Fray

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