Costello Wrestlemania is finished
– but they were hanging off the rafters at Festival Hall. Not even the
yarn about the PM and botox generated so much email.

Since Miranda Devine first revealed the Treasurer’s fascination with the sport of, er, professional wrestling in the Sun-Heralda week ago, Crikey subscribers have battled it out to come up with a ring name for the man who would be our nation’s leader.

The
Treasurer fessed up to a lifelong wrestling obsession to Devine,
beginning with a childhood love for Mario Milano. It’s shared by Crikey
readers chasing three championship belts – three WWE DVDs provided by
the Shock Entertainment Group.

And Peter Costello’s wrestling name? C’mon! First the warm-up bouts.

A
senior Liberal source tells us that the Treasurer is delighted that
Crikey has run this competition. And if he’s an old Mario Milano fan,
he’ll be bound to love subscriber Patrick’s suggestion that he take the
ring name of “Killer Taxwolski.” Another Peter – clearly thinking of
his ambitions – wants Cos to take the tag of “The Future Fiend,” while
Tony thinks “The Higgins Hyena” sounds pretty good. Kate liked “The
Dukes of Hansard” while Adam goes for “The Smirking Bezerker.”

And smirking takes us on to our three DVD winners.

We
had two suggestions for “The Smirking Assassin” – with apologies to
Amrozi. Niall’s beat Jay’s by three hours, so he takes our third prize.

Julie won our second preference with “The Hillsong Hulk.” Here’s hoping it would get Family First’s, too.

But
our grand first prize winner is Daryl (no, not the former
attorney-general) for “Cossie the Aussie.” It was the detail that did
it: “Pete in fetching Speedo togs worn in true lifesaver style – wedged
and displaying butt – along with a small hat a la Strop.

“Cossie the Aussie.” Why, it’s a name you’d be proud to have if you were prime minister!

A couple of other more detailed entries deserve a quick mention. Paul talked about Mike Rotundo,
aka Irwin R Schyster, aka the IRS. Very appropriate name. “I
particularly like the analogy of constantly playing second fiddle with
Barry Wyndham in the US Express tag team, as well as the constant lack
of fulfilment of his destiny.”

Chris says “My name for Costello
as a wrestler is Homage to Barry O … He had the big symbol as he ran
on the stage – both arms joined above the head in the shape of an O.
When it came to the wrestling he would get thumped by the main players.
So in Homage to Barry O I reckon Peter C with the arms forming a C as
he runs into the main ring – only for him to get double teamed by King
Kong Kim and his own manager, Johnny Howard.”

Terence thinks
“the wrestlemaniac should go by the name ‘CozzieModo – the man with the
giant chip on his shoulder’. I could see him stumping around the ring
like my all-time favourite Brute Bernard.”

Finally, there’s this
suggestion: “Since it seems the Treasurer is besotted by the
transparently rigged circus performance of TV wrestling, an appropriate
name might be ‘The Hollow Impostor’.”

So, ladeeeez and gen’lemen
– a big thank you to all our entrants, thanks to the Shock
Entertainment Group and thanks to the Treasurer for giving us the best
reason so far why he should be Prime Minister. And could our three
winners – Daryl, Julie and Niall – please send their mailing addresses
to [email protected] so we can get the prizes out.