“Ferraris and F-16s. These
are the transports of free men”. Or so the philosopher PJ O’Rourke
wrote. But what suits our politicians? Some marketing whiz decided it
would be a wheeze to release research during the British election
campaign showing that Labour voters drive Kias while Conservatives
prefer Aston Martins. Sounds a little dodgy – but then our pollsters
never like to talk about margin of error, either.

We’ve turned
the question over to the Crikey readership – and once again have
received a gratifying response. Here are some of the snappier:

Howard: A Triumph Herald. Great for cruisin’ – albeit only to chess tournaments in the sixties
Beazley: A Commodore, only because there’s no car called Air Vice Marshal.
The Democrats: A Charade. With good third party insurance.
Rudd: Needs a Prelude. Ditto Peter Costello, but he probably must
settle for a well-muffled Applause. On permanent loan from Budget.
Brown: Not a 2CV as you suggest. Too French for him – remember the
Rainbow Warrior? Nope, Bob would look good inside an old but reliable

Other readers have clearly put a lot of thought into their responses:

“Considering the lack of ticker in Cossie I would
suggest that he’s a Camry Sportivo driver. Safe family motor with a
pretend get up and go exterior with additional go fast stripes as the
optional extra. However, considering his recent performance, I would
like to see him behind the wheel of a Hillman Hunter or perhaps an Imp.
He’s a loser and needs to be in a loser’s car. Strewth, now that I
think of it the Leyland P76 is the one for him.”

“John Hewson,
of course, famously admitted to owning a P76. Then again, he probably
let out a bit too much detail a bit too early on most subjects. But
we’re discovering fascinating facts we never knew about.”

should have an Abbot. For the less-informed Crikey reader, an Abbot is
a British self-propelled gun. It looks like a bloody big tank and fires
large artillery shells over long distances to great effect, but has
thin armour.”

Fancy! Keep the contributions coming to [email protected]

Peter Fray

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