Has Gloria blunted his beak?

What’s the point of getting up early in the morning if you’re simply going to be put back to sleep again.

That’s
the question the Crikey Bird Watching Team have been asking themselves
since our feathered friend returned a fortnight ago.

The sharp, shrill squawks that used to ring through the dawn air seem to have been largely replaced by a gentle cawing.

What are we hearing from the Parrot?

Well,
on Monday, he was telling the sad story of David Evans, stuck and
killed by lightning two days before – in excruciatingly parish pump
detail:

“Well, what a dreadful story about David Evans, the bloke who is described today as having a passion for cricket.

“He told his parents he wanted the rain to disappear before his fourth grade game on Saturday.

“The 31 year old got his wish but they were the last words his parents would hear from him.

“He was killed by a lightning strike.

“As is reported today, he was batting in a two day match against Ulladulla at Artie Smith Oval in Bomaderry.

“He was facing his second over at 20 past four on Saturday and then lightning struck.

“It knocked him and six fieldsmen to the ground.

“It caused burn marks to David Evans’ wrists and feet.

“It split his cricket bat and left a scorch mark in the grass half a metre long…

“Spare a thought for Graeme Cord, whose dismissal led to David Evans taking the crease.

“He saw the lightning strike as he was sitting with team mates.

“David Evans was standing on the grass to one side of the synthetic pitch and was about to face the bowler.

“Graeme Cord said, ‘it was dark, it wasn’t overcast, it wasn’t rain. Suddenly this bolt of lightning came out of nowhere’.

“And, as Graeme Cord said, ‘It hit Dave. All the players on his side went down.’

“Graeme Cord said, ‘David Evans would have been killed almost instantly.’

“A dreadful story…”

And
then he rattled off exactly the same story almost word-for-word on the
Today show two days later – when the story was four days.

Now,
we’re not short on sympathy – but we need to be up before 5:30 am to
catch the first sounds of the dawn chorus. And when this is all we
hear, then it tends to lull us back to sleep.

It’s certainly not the raucous parrot noises we’re familiar with. Will it win Gloria back his ratings crown?

It all depends on a moot point of ratings methodology. If you’re asleep but the radio’s still on, are you counted as a listener?

Interesting.

– The Crikey Bird Watching Team can be contacted at [email protected]

Peter Fray

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