Crikey subscribers will be relieved to know that our ever-vigilant security forces are working to protect Parliament House from the ever-present menace of terrorist bicycles. Indeed, on Wednesday afternoon there was little else staffers could talk about.
From: Stroud, Shane (REPS)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 2:57 PM
To: DPL-Department; DPRS-Department; JHD-Department; REPS-Department; REPS-Members; SEN-Department; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff; Table Office – Reps; REPS-MemStaff
Subject: Security

Occupants at Parliament House will no doubt be aware of recent changes to some security processes.

The short-term parking area outside the Senate and Reps entrances has been designated a “Set-down & Pick-up” area only. The practical implication of this is that unattended vehicles are no longer permitted in these areas.

Those who ride their bicycles to work will also note that bicycles are no longer permitted inside the building. This step has been taken in response to concerns relating to traffic flow through the entrances at peak periods, safety implications and security. Bike racks are available in each of the underground carparks.

It is understood that the new arrangements might be inconvenient and any disruption or inconvenience is regretted.

Shane Stroud
Deputy Security Controller (Operations)
Australian Parliament House

There are, however, exceptions:

—–Original Message—–
From: Barresi, Phil (MP)
Sent: Wednesday, October 30, 2002 3:07 PM
To: Stroud, Shane (REPS)
Subject: RE: Security

Shane

I always have my bike in the office. As I dont ride it regulalry I do not wish to leave it in a rack for weeks at a time. Its also a security thing for me.

Phil Barresi

—–Original Message—–
From: Stroud, Shane (REPS)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:21 PM
To: Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Security

Sir,

Thank you for advising me of your circumstances.

Of course, the prohibition does not extend to Members, Senators and Ministers.
Members such as yourself are exempt this requirement in the interests of facilitating unhindered access into and out of the building.

With Compliments & Respects,

Shane Stroud

With brown-nosing skills like that, we predict a great future for Mr Stroud – but then the voices of dissent began. Indeed, the affair developed an unexplected complexity as the afternoon wore on. Read this and see:

From: Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 2:13 PM
To: Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

Dear Mr Stroud

It is seems every so unfair that Mr Baresi, for whom I have the utmost respect, is allowed to have is push bike in his office, while mine rusts away on a bike rack in the damp dungeons under Parliament House.

Doesn’t a bicycle underneath the building pose just as much a terrorist threat as one inside the building?

I don’t profess to have your detailed knowledge of counter terrorism, but are exploding bicycles really a major threat to the seat of Australian democracy?

I would be happy to submit my trusty treadly to a detailed physical examination by a committee of experts, although I wouldn’t recommend using the bomb detecting beagle as my neighbour’s cat urinates on my tyres and that could confuse the sniffer dog.

Yours, with “compliments and respects”,

Murray Lees

—–Original Message—–
From: Singleton, Jeff (A. Albanese, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 2:08 PM
To: Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Security

Yeah that’s right, the property of politicians is far more important than the property of their staff.

Jeff Singleton
Office of Anthony Albanese MP
Shadow Minister for Employment Services and Training

—-Original Message—–
From: Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 2:49 PM
To: Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

You dissin’ Mr Stroud, boy, or Mr Barressi?

—–Original Message—–
From: McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 2:52 PM
To: Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members;
REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

Hey, where are all the female bike riders?

—–Original Message—–
From: Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:00 PM
To: McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

That’s easy…they’ve hopped their treadlies and pedalled to Brissie.
B:)

—–Original Message—–
From: Sekhon, Paul (R. Price, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 2:57 PM
To: McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

please dont’t send out any more of this schlock – i have a real job

Paul

—–Original Message—–
From: Faulks, Josh (Sen J. Ferris)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:01 PM
To: Sekhon, Paul (R. Price, MP); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

Lighten up Paul. You could just delete the emails and not read them. And we are lucky you pointed that out. No one else in here has a real job – just you!

Josh Faulks
Office of Senator Jeannie Ferris
Government Whip
Parliament House, Canberra

—–Original Message—–
From: Mutton, Kate (W. Entsch, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:06 PM
To: Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members;
REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

Hey gyus,

This is an amusing conversation but we electorate staff scattered around the country probably don’t need to receive all these emails. Can you keep it to yourselves?

Kate Mutton
Media Advisor for Warren Entsch MP

—–Original Message—–
From: Bouloux, Julie (L. Ferguson, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:06 PM
To: Faulks, Josh (Sen J. Ferris); Sekhon, Paul (R. Price, MP); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP);
Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

On ya bike!
Julie Bouloux
(Laurie Ferguson)

—–Original Message—–
From: Bailey, Mike (Sen S. Hutchins)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:11 PM
To: Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

Good on ya Paul.

As interesting as all this intense bicycle rights discourse is, I couldn’t
care less.

For Chrissake, just get a cab to Parliament like everybody else!!!

Would you kindly reply only to those who are interested in hearing your complaints, rather than the rest of us trying to actually do some work.

And as for all you Government staffers, aren’t you guys meant to be running the country or something? Get back to work – it’s not 5pm yet!!!

___________________

Mike Bailey
Office of Senator Steve Hutchins
PO Box 244 Parramatta 2124

—–Original Message—–
From: Binder, Loretta (G. Hardgrave, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:16 PM
To: Mutton, Kate (W. Entsch, MP); Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

No, pls keep it coming! We here in the electorate offices around the country have a right to know what’s going on in the National Capital. I personally am glued to my computer screen. I haven’t had this much fun in Brissie since Expo 88

—–Original Message—–
From: Hill, Cristian (Sen N. Sherry)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:22 PM
To: Bouloux, Julie (L. Ferguson, MP); Davies, Peter (Sen M. Lees); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

Mmmm girls on bikes, in summer, in shorts …..

—–Original Message—–
From: Gibbs, Toni (B. Ripoll, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:24 PM
To: Binder, Loretta (G. Hardgrave, MP); Mutton, Kate (W. Entsch, MP); Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

If this doesn’t stop I am going to have to tape my ribs as they are splitting from laughing so much

—–Original Message—–
From: Brannelly, Joy (C. Thompson, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:28 PM
To: Mutton, Kate (W. Entsch, MP); Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

sure makes a change from whinging constituents

—–Original Message—–
From: Kupsch, Kat (J. Moylan, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:30 PM
To: Brannelly, Joy (C. Thompson, MP); Mutton, Kate (W. Entsch, MP); Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

HEAR,HEAR…

—-Original Message—–
From: White, Leanne (I. Macfarlane, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:31 PM
To: Kupsch, Kat (J. Moylan, MP); Brannelly, Joy (C. Thompson, MP); Mutton, Kate (W. Entsch, MP); Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

who’s game to forward this to Crikey?

—–Original Message—–
From: Cowdy, Paul (D. Tollner, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:31 PM
To: Gibbs, Toni (B. Ripoll, MP); Hill, Cristian (Sen N. Sherry); Bouloux, Julie (L. Ferguson, MP); Davies, Peter (Sen M. Lees); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

This is almost better than a chatline – anyone want to swop pics of girls on bikes while we’re at it

—–Original Message—–
From: Turbit, Steven (R. Price, MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:31 PM
To: Brannelly, Joy (C. Thompson, MP); Mutton, Kate (W. Entsch, MP); Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

Just you hope & pray that neither they nor the media find out about this!

—–Original Message—–
From: Kelly, Jackie (MP)
Sent: Wednesday, 30 October 2002 3:44 PM
To: Barwick, Kate (P. Neville, MP); Hill, Cristian (Sen N. Sherry); Belton, Amanda (M. May, MP); Gibbs, Toni (B. Ripoll, MP); Binder, Loretta (G. Hardgrave, MP); Mutton, Kate (W. Entsch, MP); Kemp, Brenda (Sen A. Bartlett); McBryde, Kay (A. Downer, MP); Bracken, Warwick (Sen R. Hill); Lees, Murray (L. Anthony, MP); Stroud, Shane (REPS); Barresi, Phil (MP)
Cc: Surtees, Claressa (REPS); Gwyther, Barry (REPS); REPS-Members; REPS-MemStaff; SEN-Senators; SEN-SenStaff
Subject: RE: Dangerous bicycles

I hate to sound like a parent but before the jocularity gets out of hand I strongly advise you all to stop playing silly buggers. Have a good nights sleep and no more raspberry cordial.

Jackie Kelly
Parliamentary Secretary to the Prime Minister

We will watch this one closely. In the meantime, if you see a bicyle behaving suspiciously, call ASIO.

Hillary Bray can be contacted at [email protected]