A banana bending ALP insider spills all yet again, but the big question occupying the Hall is “who is Mickey?”


Mickey Spillall writes:

“Loved the recent Crikey spat over the silly suggestion that the disgraced former Member for Woodridge Mike Kaiser should be allowed back into the Labor fold.

And for those of you thinking such a thing couldn’t happen since straight shooting “Pistol Pete” Beattie (it’s my party and I’ll cry if there are rorters in it) toughened up the rules and booted the rotten apples out, think again.

Living in Queensland, you soon learn that what you see at a Beattie press conference is not what always what you get and a quick check of Labor’s diminishing membership records revealed something interesting about the disgraced former Member for Woodridge before the current disgraced former Member for Woodrdige.

That is, Mike Kaiser’s predessor Bill D’Arcy. You remember millionaire Bill, who represented the long suffering battlers of Woodridge from his luxury home in the Raby Bay canal estate down near Moreton Bay and scooped up lucrative net gambling licences from his mates.

If you can use the word “represented” for someone who was known around Parliament as “The Phantom” because he was seen so rarely in George Street. (What did the good citizens of Woodridge do to deserve this “disgraced former members” plague of Biblical proportions?)

Anyway, notwithstanding the fact that D’Archy now resides at Her Majesty’s Walston Park Correctional Centre after being convicted on numerous child sex charges, including rape, and has many more pending against him, D’Arcy remains a member of the Queensland ALP.

In fact, D’Arcy’s membership was renewed on March 25 this year. Only cost him $20 and all. You see, ALP dues are income based, and though he is still asset rich, jail pay of a few dollars a week means Bill is eligible for the lowest membership rate.

And they try to tell you that Labor is out of touch and has lost its compassion!

As for the current disgraced former member for Woodridge, there are a couple of matters about Kaiser and the Shepherdson Inquiry that need to be set straight, but that can wait for another Crikey, someday soon.”


Now we all know that Labor resolved to kick D’Arcy out of the party after we revealed this, so Mickey Spillall provided this detailed follow-up to subscribers last Friday:

Gobsmacked Peter has more issues to think about

By Mickey Spillall

‘Populism Pete’ Beattie said he was “gobsmacked” by Crikey’s revelation that the previous disgraced former member for Woodridge Bill D’Arcy – not to be confused with the current disgraced former Member for Woodridge Mike Kaiser – was still a member of the Queensland ALP, but the gob he’d actually like to see smacked is that of his State Secretary Cameron Milner.

“I can hardly believe that we’ve been so stupid as to do it,” the Tart said, referring to the renewal in March of D’Arcy’s ALP membership, when what he actually meant was: “I CAN believe Cameron was stupid enough to do it.”

Or perhaps, the amazing shrinking Premier was referring to the fact that D’Arcy had been allowed to join on the cheap? Anyway, the rules are going to be changed to make sure it never happens again and there’s a witch-hunt on in head office to find out who Mickey is.

Good luck fellas.

Meanwhile, D’Arcy is going to be given the boot from the ALP.

Although, according one of Mickey’s spies in Bill’s libido management class at Wolston Park Correctional Centre (where the millionaire “Phantom” is now doing it rough with the roughnecks), D’Arcy was heard to mutter that he no longer wants to be a member of a party that would have blokes like him in it anyway.

Well you wouldn’t, would you?

And some at party HQ are concerned about the impact any broadly drafted new rule to exclude sexual predators might have …estimates vary, but some have ventured that a catch-all sexual misbehaviour clause could cost the Queensland ALP another 25 percent of its diminishing membership.

Depends how you define a sexual predator, I suppose.

Anyway, all of this was exactly what Cameron “Big Wig” Milner didn’t need right now. Relations between Queensland’s premier limelight hog and “Big Wig” have been tense for many months, and the D’Arcy bungle is not helping. (There are times when the fact their offices are reasonably close as the crow flies, but separated by the Brisbane River is a factor in Cameron’s continuing good health.)

It’s partly a factional thing – “Populism” has never been a big AWU fan – but it’s also a competence and judgment thing.

“Big Wig” (because when he was still a QUT student, monstering Left female staff on the Student Guild, Cameron had a Monica Lewinsky-like big hair-do) Milner is Big Bill’s boy. That is, a member of the AWU faction, the faction that also gave us the previous State ALP Secretary and the current disgraced former Member for Woodridge, Mike Kaiser.

In other words, both Kaiser and Milner are the political offspring of AWU union boss Bill with AWU factional boss Wayne “Caligula” Swan. (You can see why I blame the parents! With genes like those, what chance did the boys stand?)

Remember, this is also the faction that gave us almost all of the fraudulent follies revealed at the Shepherdson Inquiry – the criminal behaviour that cost the party three sitting MP’s (all from the AWU faction) and could have cost Labor Government but for the Tart, the useless Opposition and the dopey local media.

Anyway, “Big Wig” is still in the post largely because of the “who else is there?” factor… across the factions there is little enthusiasm for the former ‘boy wonder’, but not enough energy to do anything about him, yet.

And the fact that he had the melancholy duty of reporting to the remaining party faithful in a document circulated after the recent State Conference that membership has declined 10 percent in the last 12 months (which would put it at around about 6,500) hasn’t improved his popularity.

Sure, there’s a lot of it around – declining party membership, that is – but normally party membership can expect a boost in good political times. Happened up here when Wayne Goss won office in 1989 and lots of people joined up to be part of the winning team, but even though ‘Populism’ is the winning-est Premier Labor’s had up here since Vince Gair was rigging boundaries and splitting the party, membership is falling.

And the membership of Young Labor is down to about 450, half what it was a decade ago …and Young Labor is something Cameron has a close association with of late. In fact, the kindest view of his recent lacklustre performance is that the lad has not really had his eye on the ball.

“Big Wig’s” personal life has gone all pear-shaped lately, since his now ex-wife Victoria Newton discovered his liaison with Lauren McGregor, the immediate past president of Queensland Young Labor and current Australian YL president.

Victoria – Brisbane City Councillor for Deagon, “Caligula” Swan’s former electorate office staffer and also his Federal Divisional Executive secretary – had been an item with Cameron since their halcyon student days, 1992. Back then, they were actually living in West End but on the electoral roll at addresses not their residence, in “Caligula’s” seat of Lilley. (True story, but more about that another time.)

Anyway, after a few unseemly moments when Vic confronted “Big Wig” about Lauren, the marriage was all over and Milner has set up house with Ms McGregor, sparking fears that the full story of his unorthodox electoral enrolment while with Vic may have been spilled.

Not yet anyway, but watch this space.

And while we are on the subject of D’Arcy and memberships, Bill (the paedophile) and Bill (the union boss) were the closest of fishing buddies for years – loved nothing better than sitting in a boat wetting a line and sinking a few cold ones. Mickey has been told that D’Arcy was also a member of Thugwig’s union … and still is!

Haven’t had time to get down to Bill’s Adelaide Street bunker to check out his elastic membership records, but will if I get time. Nor have I forgotten my promise to set the record straight on Kaiser at the Shepherdson Inquiry, but so much has been happening at the Hall.