Feeney-Shorten supporter Harry Hack is sick of Delia Delegate’s drivel and has hit back hard:

So much has happened since my last entry that I think it is important to return to the scene where the devil’ls pact unfolded: Head Office on Friday June 21 as the counting comences for the election of a range of ALP committees and most notably the Presidency.

As people shuffled around the room awkwardly what did the count tell us keen observers of the rough terrain known as “Not a shred of Unity”?

How was Bill Shortened when there should have been more than enough right wing votes to get him over the line?

There were 450 votes cast for the Presidency. For other hacks who like to keep count that means 6 voters didn’t make it – 5 HSUA votes and 1 from the NUW. (believe it or not our brothers and sisters from the neutral cave couldn’t even organise themselves enough to get all their votes in – how will they run a new faction?)

However, even the 28 NUW votes would not have ben enough to Shorten Bill.

It is believed that Monica Gould who gets a vote as Upper House leader followed the NUW – this is the kind of loyalty that makes all those who stood by her while she destroyed the IR portfolio beam with pride.

Ashley Warren (Julie’s Dad) was the one stray vote for Julie. Obviously he shares a pride in his daughter’s abilities that is the monopoly of all fathers. One issue Kim Carr mamanged to not leak to the media was the last minute withdrawal from the Oficers ballot of the SL’s Catherine Van Vliet. This enabled Warren to be elected unopposed through affirmative action, only attracting the one vote from her dear old Dad.

The sisterhood in the Left must have been proud of this blatant abuse of their cherished affirmative action policy.

But Bill was successful in eroding the SL pile – some of Claven’s colleagues in the union movement have actually had the misfortune to meet the uninspiring, bookish new President and voted accordingly.

But there were 12 (as far as I can identify) other rats in addition to the 28 NUW followers. Now exclusively for Crikey we can reveal who these Labor Unity rats are:

Harry’s Dirty Dozen

1. Tim Holding (Bruce)

What a courageous leader Osama is, refusing to attend the Labor Unity Broad Group meeting last week before the Pearl Harbour attack. Like most suicide bombers, Tim has forgotten who would be the most certain victim of his moment in the sun. Despite Delia’s ravings, Tim is about as likely to become a Minister as Senator Conroy is to graduate with honours from an anger mamgement course. For a well-balanced character assessment, check with Bracks babe Sharon McCrohan about his constructive approach to politics.

2. Ada Lam (Bruce) – employed in the taxpayer funded pooled staff. A quick survey of her Glen Waverley branch reveals her talent – the recruitment of a pathetically small band of Chinese members. Is that what the Modernisiation Alliance is out to achieve?

3. Damian Mannix (Holt) – Ginger Meggs is best remembered for his failed preselection attempt to snare preselection in Mulgrave. He should feel quite comfortable voting for the Left as he is on the payroll of Leftie John Pandazopoulos. Known to be bitterly angry about the deal cut between the SL’s Alan Griffin and LU’s Anthony Byrne to cut him out of Mulgrave for current Assistant Secretary of the ALP Daniel Andrews. What is that saying about politics making strange bedfellows?

4. Matt Carrick (Hotham) – Ethically-challenged staffer to John Brumby best known for his rorting of Young Labor elections.

5. Kieran Boland (Aston) – It must have been exciting for Kieran to have actually be on the winning side for once (although only just).

6. Matthew Merry (Chisholm) – Matt is apparently employed in the office of Anna Burke MP. Now there is a strange one. Ex-SDA, employer of Networkers, friend of Conroy. Where does this she actually line up?

7. Fay Dapiran (Menzies) – mother of Network Leader Rachel Dapiran. Rachel is the Networker who has been given the eternal honor of attending the Admin Committee meeting where Feeney will be dispatched with as Secretary, guaranteeing her a place in Network heaven with the other suicide bombers. Ratting comes easily to Dapiran. Just ask Telmo Languilller what happened to his 10 promised ballot papers during the recent FEA eletions in Melbourne?

8. Bob Stensholt (Higgins) – knowns as the “grandfather” of Network, who along with Matt Viney had enormous amounts of money spent on his byeletion campaign by State Seretary Feeney only to turn and rat on him.

9. Ken McAlpine (Kooyong) – having fallen under his boss Candy Broad’s spell, Ken claims he was just following his bosses approach to factional bedhopping.

10. Felicity Child (Goldstein) – another Network sympathiser from the Robert Ray stable. Now works for the factionally nebulous Ann Barker.

11. Mark Conroy (Dunkley) – Frankly, ratting is the least of Chopper’s problems right now. Believed to have been motivated by desire for Greg Sword character reference. He should talk to Dr Theophanaous to see how much that is worth.

12. Andres Puig (Maribrynong) – the w**ker from the west certainly has some explaining to do. The big Senator may have to hand young Andres the same pink slip that sent Quinny packing. Can the big fella sack his trusted boarder?

So that’s the dirty dozen who sunk Bill.

So what has been achieved? The Left have have now stolen the Presidency from a person with a wealth of experience, talent and contacts. Even Bill’s detractors acknowledge him as a future leader and would certainly be a step up on MP’s like Byrne, Vamvakinou, Sercombe, Corcoran and Collins. The NUW/Network rats must have chuckled at the thought they could deliver the Presidency to a no-name instead of someone with Bill’s skills.

What a victory for reform and modernisation.

Of much greater concern is the loss of the State Secretary’s position. This was known to have been the key issue the NUW/Network group demanded support on from their new greedy SL allies.

The man now most likey to be David’s replacement is Roland “John West” Lindell. Roland was passed over for David Feeney when he was a loyal but mediocre State Organiser. Roland is a reliable Conroy man and good mate of former State Secretary John Lenders. Has solid but limited abilities and is prone to panic attacks. An avid St. Kilda supporter he is at least accustomed to disappointment.

His supporters claim he is actually responsible for great feats of fundraising that Feeney is credited for. Now Feeney may have made the odd mistake during his term but no-one can deny that he has the key contacts in business both here and around the country. He delivered the Packer donation and has a close personal relationship with James.

Roland wouldn’t know a board room if he fell over it. The truth is Roland essentially organised business dinners and beg letters. It is David who raised the big donations that will enable Bracks to retain governent and provides an entree point to Ministerial offces to ensure that business gets value for money.

It will be interesting to see if this stint as Acting Secretary will rescue Roland’s uninspiring reputation as a solid , likeable bloke going nowehere.

How ironic this must be for the NUW/Network group. After failing to support Roland’s original bid to become the State Secretary (rolling over to let David take it on without a whimper) they are now climbing on board to support Roland. The only purist on this appears to be Tim Pallas – known to be referring to Lindell as acceptable – “but don’t tell me he is a rocket scientist”. At least someone from the NUW family has the guts to tell it how it is.

David has been criticised for not being as campaign savvy as his allies claim. Some of the critics may want to reflect on the fact that he won the Frankston East, Burwood and Benalla by-elections that delivered Bracks a secure government. With the exception of recent weeks (and who can blame the guy) he has delivered a factionally stable Head Office, an excellent Federal result in 2001 leading to the swings in McMillan and Chisholm and the win off the Liberals of the seat of Ballarat.

In fact his only blemish was Aston. This can hardly been pinned on David – essentially national office ran the campaign through Melissa Horne and Andrew Fraser under the watchful eye of Networker Osmama Tim Holding.

In fact David has had to work with some pretty questionable candidates. From Kieran “Mummy’s Boy” Boland in Aston to Matt Viney and his dodgy address during Frankston East and the serious questions surrounding Bob Stensholt during the Burwood by-election. Then of course there was Denise Allen – who had to be placed on a short leash. Just ask Danielle Green who had the unenviable task of controlling the Denise Allen clan of hillbillies during the by-election.

But it appears that despite all this the axe will fall on Friday night for David Feeney, a week after Bill copped it from the new Alliance.

There is another group in this fascinating tale that have gone unnoticed and are the most insidious of all – the fence-sitters. You know the ones that collaborated with the Vichy regime. But more on that later.

Till next time, Harry Hack

Harry Hack can be reached at [email protected]