An anonymous contributor has this fascinating contribution on the Lindsay Fox raid on the Melbourne Cemetery last week which was fronted by a man who cost taxpayers millions trying to build the world’s tallest building in Brisbane.

A Ministerial inquiry into the allocation of the 11 most elite graves on offer to one person; situated close to the graves of many luminaries of the Labour Movement; would not be out of the question.

Punters became very angry when a middle aged woman appeared out of the mist; behind locked cemetery gates; and took up the No 1 position in the quere outside the cemetery office door.

The punters who had been locked outside the cemetery were irate that cemetery authorities had allowed one punter, what appears to be, an undue advantage.

When the Chief Executive Officer of the Necropolis, Russ Allison arrived he was set upon by angry punters. His response to one angry punter was that if he did not like it he could contact the cemeteries solicitors, Malleson’s.

Mr Allison also told the angry punters that he did not have a problem with the fact that one punter had exclusively been allowed to camp inside the cemetery grounds overnight.

Furthermore Mr Allison told the punters that had they climbed the cemetery fence he would not have had a problem with that.

Does that now mean, that Melbourne’s cemeteries are about to be over-run at night, by Goth’s.

Mr Allison told anyone who was willing to listen, that the party that was No 1 in quere, had quered since the previous Friday night. Not so, states your correspondent.

Firstly, your correspondent was warned by cemetery staff two weeks before the allocation of plots that any attempt to quere by himself would be thwarted by cemetery security staff.

Your correspondent visited the Melbourne General Cemetery on the Satureday and the Sunday prior to the plot allocation date, specifically to ascertain, whether quereing was taking place.

Your corespondent with great care, checked all the nooks and crannies in the area of the cemeteries front gate and office. A few empty cars; no sign of human life.

Well, it is a cemetery! Now the plot thickens.

Your correspondant was reliably informed by a large media group that a very large Fox Corporation bank draft was lodged into the account of the Melbourne General Cemetery last Friday morning!

Therefore the question needs to be asked: Who are the true owners to the burial rights for the graves EA1 to EA11 at the Melbourne General Cemetery?

Furthermore the question also needs to be asked: Did any party get an unfair advantage in the allocation of graves, especially graves numbered EA1 to EA11, inclusive.

What would happen if one individual was allowed to purchase 10% of the very best seats available for the next AFL Grand Final?

Your correspondent wishes to point out that he attended to cemetery last Wednesday to buy one plot and one plot only, for the exclusive use of himself and his wife. It is interesting to note that the graves EA1-EA11 have a capacity for 33 occupants.

Someone intends to do a lot of planting! I suggest that maybe someone should do a little digging now!

Anon

GRAVE CHASING AND THE WORLD’S TALLEST BUILDING

A subscriber writes:

Dear Stephen,

I was entertained to read the story of the bunfight for plots at Melbourne cemetery this evening in that great little rag MX (although unfortunately they didnt bother to credit Crikey for the story on Katrina they happily followed up). According to the report, the bunfight occurred when the bloke at the top of the queue bought no less than ten sites, including the most expensive, for a total of $270,000 – leaving others who had queued all night extremely frustrated at being unable to buy their own graves to turn in.

The paper reports the name of the purchaser as being a John Minuzzo, known for many years by Trak matrons as the owner of Minoots cafe in the heart of Toorak village. But with a sting like this one, this also has to be the same John Minuzzo who was once a key player in a syndicate to build the world’s tallest building in Brisbane – all 108 stories and 445 metres of it (ie.twice the size of the Rialto building).

Initially he teamed up with Joe Gutnick’s mate Izzy Herzog and Michael Lasky, and they must have had something going for them because they were able to get Tricontinental (Victorian taxpayers) to advance a $31 million line of credit for the project without any security (other than a soothing word from Russ Hinze). Despite approving the loan, Tricontinental Directors wanted Minuzzo removed from the consortium because of his “emotional” style and continual obstruction on the project – but he managed to stay on board as his partners were replaced instead by the notorious Malcolm Edwards, a mate of Kerry Packer’s.

They were able to suck another $9 million out of Tricontinental, making a total of $42 million all up – without so much as a sod ever being turned on the Brisbane site.

Who knows? Maybe Minuzzo will finally actually manage to dig some holes in the ground, and lay the foundations for a new multi-story mausoleum. At least taxpayers have got $270,000 back.

Cheers, name withheld

Peter Fray

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