Forget these overpaid professional pollsters like Morgan and Newspoll, we have polled the Crikey readers and subscribers and come up with some very interesting predictions for Saturday.

The Crikey sample is disgustingly blokey 738 males to a mere 149 females. Three hundred and sixteen of the respondents come from Victoria, 227 from News South Wales, 100 from Queensland, 57 from the West, 47 from South Australia, 14 from Tassie and six from the Top End. And yes, we forgot to put in the ACT as an option, so we have to count Canberrans in with the 123 who identified themselves as being from “other”.

The age range is broad we have 22 people aged under 20, 199 between 20 and 29, 256 between 30 and 39, 179 between 40 and 49, 153 between 50 and 59, 65 between 60 and 69, 12 between 70 and 79 and one net-savvy octogenarian.

And how’s this lot going to vote? Labor’s the winner on primaries in the Crikey poll (asking for a second preference in such an unscientific poll is wanky). Here’s the House of Representatives voting intention:

Liberal: 236

National: 11

Labor: 428

Democrats: 43

Greens: 113

One Nation: 4

Independent: 34

Other: 103

Crikey readers, however, support a watchdog Senate. Just look at how the figures change:

Liberal 204

National: 20

Labor: 276

Democrats: 116

Greens: 188

One Nation: 13

Independent: 35

Other: 96

And why are Crikey readers voting the way they plan to? The most popular reason is rather amusing:

Hate Howard: 146

Boat people: 87

Leadership: 75

Rusted on party supporter: 68

Education: 54

Hate Beazley: 31

Industrial relations: 29

The GST: 26

The environment: 25

Telstra: 12

The war on terrorism: 9

Heath: 6

Unemployment: 6

None of the above: 22

Other issues (like two key ones we forgot economic management and interest rates): 96

Again, given the small samples from some states, the gender slant and the general unscientific nature of the survey, any further breakdown would be wanky. But thanks for taking part and ha, ha, ha to all of you who thought you could vote more than once and get away with it. Just what sort of mugs do you take us for?

Enjoy Saturday night.

Feedback to [email protected] and [email protected]