Crikey is on the prowl for people to attend AGMs and ask the tough questions. We also want you to appoint us as your proxy to keep a few chairmen out there on their toes. So sign up now.

We’re also very keen to avoid the expense of buying shares in too many companies and the best way to avoid that is to have you appoint us as your proxy.

Without any further ado, here is a list of which meetings we’re interested in covering and the current status of attendance. Please let us know if you can help out, especially if you’re prepared to get up and ask some questions.

23 Oct, Mon:

Fosters: 11am, Melbourne Concert Hall. Need shareholder to attend to keep these grog and gambling pushers honest. Director Geoffrey Cohen should cop it for the disaster he’s presided over at HIH.

Bendigo Bank, 11am, Bendigo Regional Arts Centre, View Street Bendigo. Would make a nice day trip to hear about the rural banking strategy. Need proxy and someone to go.

ASX Ltd, 11am, Sydney ASX centre. Crikey attending as board candidate. Need others to come and support.

Newhaven Park Stud, 10am, Buena Vista Hotel, Mosman. Would like to attend myself to ask Jack Ingham some questions but need proxy. He’s one of the great recluses.

24 Oct, Tues:

Burswood, 10am Burwood Casino, Perth. Need shareholder to go and ask about collapsing high roller business.

Sydney Aquarium, 10.30am, Sydney Aquarium. Have non-shareholder going to try and ask some questions.

25 Oct, Wed:

GUD, 11am, Plaza Ballroom, 191 Collins Street, Melbourne. Stephen Mayne going as Alasdair Wardle’s proxy.

Pasminco, 11.30am, Melbourne.Exhibition Centre. Stephen Mayne available but need proxy to have authority to ask chairman Mark Rayner to stop droning on. He tolerates less questions than anyone.

Television and Media Services, 4pm, Cockle Bay Wharf, Sydney. Any takers. Don’t have proxy yet.

Country Road, 11am, 658 Church St, Richmond. Might be the usual Michael Kroger shitfight.

Vision Systems, 11am, 495 Blackburn Rd, Melbourne. Out in the burbs but an interesting stock all the same. Keen for a shareholder to tell us what happens as know media will turn up.

Bidvest, 7pm, 31 Bank St, Pyrmont, Sydney. Anyone keen to get into the South Africans who run the Sydney fish markets.

Millers Retail, 10am, tower 2, level 10, 201 Sussex St, Sydney. Hugo Kelly should go as they’re always chasing him. Need a proxy giver first.

26 Oct, Thurs:

Commonwealth Bank, Melbourne. Stephen Mayne going as board candidate and proxy for a handful of shareholders. Come alone and help out..

Djerriwarrh: 11am at Hilton in Melbourne. Boring JB Were investment vehicle.

Burns Philp, 10.30am, Wesley Centre, 220 Pitt St, Sydney. Need proxy and someone to go.

Normandy Mining, 11am, Unley, South Australia. Dad has offered proxy but need a Crow eater to go and ask whether there is a hope in hell of getting the full $100 million debt back from Joseph Gutnick.

Futuris, 2.30pm, Hyatt Regency, Adelaide. Alan Newman will be there so any takers?

Newcrest, 2.30pm, Melbourne Exhibition Centre. Need proxy so can go after CBA if time.

Oamps, 11am, ASX Theatrette, 530 Collins St, Melbourne. Could be a shitfight. Any proxies on offer or willing attenders?

Orbital Engine Company, 2pm, Perth Sheraton. Need proxy so Mr G can strut his stuff.

Ridley Corp, 10am, Hotel Intercontinental, Sydney. They’ve stuffed up in the US so would love proxy and someone to go and give them stick.

Flight Centre, 11am, Brisbane Marriott, 515 Queen St. Hopefully Aunty Roma will go but need a proxy first. What a success story these lads are.

27 Oct, Fri:

Adelaide Bank, Adelaide. Yawn, leave it to the ASA who’ll be there.

Biota, Melbourne. Stephen Mayne owns shares but needs to appoint a proxy, preferably someone with the flu who could use their product.

Coates Hire, 10am, Hotel Intercontinental, Sydney. Nice blokes but stock has been hammered. Dad has shares but won’t travel so need someone to ask questions as his proxy.

ERG, Perth. Have offer of proxy from Richard Whan but need someone to go.

Spicers Paper, midday, Sheraton Towers, Melbourne. Crikey available but need proxy.

Hazelton Airlines, 11am, Hotel Intercontinental, Sydney. Last ever meeting, any takers to ask about the Air New Zealand takeover?

Evans Deakin, 11am, Stamford Hotel, Brisbane. Downer Group is prowling and dad has offered a proxy so if Aunty Roma can’t go would love to find someone else.

Greens Foods, 10am, Westin Hotel, Sydney. Controlled by Peter Scanlon and making truckoads for Dick Smith. Would be good one but need proxy and someone to go.

Novogen, 9am, ASX Building, 20 Bridge St, Sydney. They get lots of press and therefore deserve lots of questions if a proxy and inquisitor can be rounded up.

30 Oct, Mon:

Text Media: 11am, 342 Swanston St, Melbourne. Stephen Mayne to go but need proxy.

Hamilton Island: 10am, Hamilton Island Yacht Club. Anyone looking for an excuse for a holiday.

Market Facts, Museum of Sydney. What a dog. Anyone angry enough to turn up?

McMahon Holdings, 11am, Parmelia Hilton, Mill St, Perth. Multiplex tried to shaft them big time in the top end so would be good to get proxy and someone to ask about this.

Adcorp, 11am, Columbia TriStar Theatrette, Level 19, BT Tower, 1 Market Street, Sydney. Chance to ask Peter Charlton, Pierce Cody and the ad lads some questions. Looking for a proxy and someone to go.

31 Oct, Tues:

Envestra, 10am, Adelaide Hilton. Another Adelaide dog. Trying to get Sir Donald to go given he was a director of Argo Investments for a while.

Brazin, Sydney. Lots of scantily dressed model to look at. Any takers? Need proxy and questioner.

MIM, 10am, Brisbane Convention Centre. Looking for proxy and someone to go.

Paperlinx, 10am, Melbourne Convention Centre. Stephen Mayne going as Alasdair Wardle and Lesley Wright’s proxy.

Skilled Engineering: 11.30am, level 29, Nauru House, Melbourne. Going as dad’s proxy and a shareholder as of this week. Controller Frank Hargrave is an interesting fellow.

Golden Triangle, 11am, level 3, 71 Queen St, Melbourne. This is Gutnick’s old mate Emmanuel Althaus. Keen to go if can get proxy somewhere.

Reef Casino Trust, 10am, Cairns Casino, Cairns. Former Queensland Lab or Treasurer Keith de Lacy is up for re-election so keen for a proxy and someone to go.

Ebet, 2.30pm, North Sydney Leagues Club, 12 Abbott St, Cammeray. Another overhyped dotcom that’s flopped. Looking for proxy and quizzer. Any Cammeray residents up for it?

1 Nov, Wed:

Amrad, 2pm, Leonda in Melbourne. Keen to go but need proxy.

Howard Smith, 11am, Sydney Regent. Any takers?

Suncorp Metway, 1.30pm, Brisbane Convention Centre. Want someone to go just to give old mate Joe Dowling a hard time. Have Neville Wright’s proxy but need quizzer. Are you free Aunty Roma?

Hills Motorway, 10am, Hotel Intercontinental, Sydney. Looking for proxy and someone to ask Stan Howard a few tough questions.

Air New Zealand, 2pm, Christchurch Town Hall. They’re now buying Hazelton so any Kiwis out there keen to front up on our behalf?

Strathfield Group, 10.30am, Wentworth Hotel, Sydney. Looking for proxy and someone to go

RM Williams, 11.30am, 121 Frost Rd, Salsbury, SA. Controlled by Ken Cowley and Kerry Stokes, this should be fun if can find a proxy and someone to go.

2 Nov, Thurs:

WA News, 3pm, Parmelia Hilton, Perth.Am candidate for board but will struggle to make it. Need someone to speak on my behalf.

Toll Holdings, Sydney. Big transport outfit but boring unless some truckie wants to go.

Housewares International, 9.30am, ASX building, 530 Collins St, Melbourne. Went last year and this former Solly outfit has been a right dog. Might drop in if can get proxy.

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Energy Developments: 2pm, Como Hotel, Melbourne. Keen to go but need proxy.

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Computershare: 10am, Leonda in Melbourne. Have Lesley’s Wright’s proxy but need someone to go. They’re proposing all sorts of keep off the grass measures for the board in a new constitution which is very interesting.

Southern Cross Broadcasting: 10am, 3AW, Banks St, Sth Melbourne. Just bought back in so attending as a shareholder.

Leighton Holdings: 10am, Sydney Regent. Need proxy and someone to go. Usually the best spread of the season.

Central Equity: 11am, 157 City Rd, Sth Melbourne. Stephen Mayne just bought in so attending as a shareholder.

Lend Lease, 7pm, Fox Studios, Sydney. Stephen Mayne going as Dad’s proxy.

3 Nov, Fri:

John Fairfax, 11am, Regent in Sydney. Need proxy and someone to go as clashes with PBL.

Ecorp, 9.30am, Sheraton on the Park, Sydney. I’m available to go but need proxy.

PBL, 11am, Sheraton on the Park, Sydney. Stephen Mayne going as Paula Piccinini’s proxy. Keen to accept all other proxies.

OPSM Protector, Wesley Centre, 220 Pitt St, Sydney. Boring, you can go if you insist.

Tabcorp, 10am, Carlton Crest Hotel, Queens Rd, Melbourne. Have Neville Wright’s proxy but need to appoint someone to go.

Brickworks, 11am, Austral Brick Company, Wallgrove Road, Horsley Park, NSW. Out in the sticks but should be good shitfight given Sir Ron’s tilt at them.

Horizon Energy, 3pm, Intercontinental, Sydney. Stephen Mayne just bought shares and attending to ask about the financial disaster that is the Loy Yang power station. Jeff stitched the “former friends of Macquarie and ANZ” right up by getting $4.8 billion for the 2000MW powerhouse.

Abigroup: 11am, Sydney Superdome, Homebush. Would love for someone to go and give Nifty Neville Wran some stick.

Amcil, 11am, Hilton Hotel, East Melbourne The JB Were investment vehicle. Looking for proxy and attender.

6 Nov, Mon:

Wesfarmers, 2pm, Hyatt Regency, Perth. Need proxy and someone to give them some stick.

7 Nov, Tues:

Simsmetal, Sydney. They’re rough, they’re tough, they’re in scrap. Looking for a toughie who can handle a scrap with these hard boys.

8 Nov, Wed:

Spotless Group, Melbourne. Stephen Mayne going as Alasdair Wardle’s proxy. Keen for any others as this will be a very interesting meeting, especially after Docklands fiasco.

AP Eagers, 9am, 80 McLachlan St, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane. EGM to take League identity Nick Politis from 20% to 35%. Always love a related party transaction so if Aunty Roma from Aspley can’t go we’re looking for a proxy and a quizzer from banana bending country.

9 Nov, Thurs:

Austrim, 10.30am Carlton Crest. Kim Mann and Neville Wright have offered proxies just need someone to ask Alan Jackson some tough questions.

TAB Ltd, 10am, Randwick Race Course, Sydney. Tough to get at but worth it to ask guru Gary Pemberton a few questions. Need proxy and inquisitor

Westfield Holdings, 10am, Sydney Hilton. Being a candidate for their board I’m going but need some proxies and maybe even need some protection. The Lowys don’t like me at all.

Smorgon Steel, 2.30pm, ANZ Pavillion, Victorian Arts Cente. Paula and Dad have shares but we need someone to go as proxy and ask about the plunging share price. This one really makes Paula frown as we paid $1.43 and they’re now about $1.20.P

Argo Investments, 11am, Adelaide Convention Centre. Will try for The Don on this one as he’s a former director.

Quantum Resources: 11.30am, Kimberley Gardens Hotel, East St Kilda. Bob Hawke is up for re-election so looking for someone to go and a proxy to ask why he’s failed to deliver on China and the stock has fallen from $7 to 7c.

Grand Hotel Group, 10am, Grand Hyatt, Collins St, Melbourne. A chronic underperformer so looking for a proxy and a questioner.

Triako Resources, 10.30am, Harbourview Hotel, Nth Sydney. Only interest is Geoff Lord’s directorship. He deserves to be skewered for being part of the mob that almost destroyed Foster’s.

Transurban, 10am, Grand Hyatt, Melbourne. Lesley Wright has provided a proxy so just need someone to go and ask how they made 400 per cent so easily out of Jeff Kennett when the Burnley tunnel is a year late.

Mirvac, 10am, AAP Theatrette, George St, Sydney. Ahh, property developers, they’re always interesting. Sold out two years back so looking for proxy and good questioner.

10 Nov, Fri:

Brambles, 2pm, Wesley Centre, 220 Pitt St, Sydney. Stephen Mayne keen to go but need a proxy to be able to ask why on earth they lost CEO John Fletcher.

Sons of Gwalia, 10am, Parmelia Hilton, Perth. Dull but worthy if any sandgropers are interested in helping us out by attending and with a proxy..

Montana Group, 2pm, Ellerslie Convention Centre, NZ. Need a Kiwi proxy and someone to go. Foster’s and Lion Nathan are both eyeing this wine outfit off.

McPherson’s, 11am, Le Meridien at Rialto, Melbourne. Stephen Mayne possibly to go but need proxy to ask about steak knives production. Trying to persuade Demtel man Tim Shaw to come down for it.

13 Nov, Mon:

Pacific Hydro, 11am, St Michael’s Centre Collins St. Hailed as a great stock but really heavily subsidised by Vic taxpayer. Need someone to give them stick.

Boral, 10.30am, Wentworth Hotel, Sydney. Stephen Mayne going as proxy for Brent Hudson and Lesley Wright. Any others welcome.

One.tel, 10am, 9 Castlereagh St, Sydney. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Am shareholder and will be there with bells on to keep the young tycoons on their toes.

FH Faulding, Adelaide. Yawn. Happy to take copy from a Crow Eater with nothing better to do. Have proxy from Lesley Wright if anyone is willing to turn up.

Stadium Australia, 10am, level 4, Gold Members Bar, Olympic Stadium, Homebush. This is a high priority given they’ve now got to find $65 million for reconfiguration. Sadly, it clashes with One.tel so will need proxy and someone to go.

14 Nov, Tues:

Mayne Nickless: 10am, Melbourne Concert Hall. Stephen Mayne attending as David Mayne’s proxy.

Henry Walker Eltin: 10am, Adelaide Hilton. Looking for proxy and inquirer.

Davnet, 11am, Sofitel Hotel, Melbourne. Plenty of press so they need plenty of questions. Any proxy offers out there?

Huntley Business Networks, 10am, The Masonic Centre, Castlereagh St, Sydney. Ian Huntley is a rich, old share tipper – a cardigan wearing Rene Rivkin. Would be good to hit him with a few curly ones.

Adacel Technologies, 11am, Le Meridien at Rialto, Collins St, Melbourne. Know nothing about them but there ain’t that many Melbourne tech stocks so let’s find a proxy and get down there after Mayne Nick.

Bourse Data, 11.30am, ASX, Collins Street, Melbourne. Might even buy into this one to ask Gil Hoskins and the fellow paper shufflers a few pointed questions.

Brian McGuigan Wines, 3.30pm, Masonic Centre, 279 Castlereagh St, Sydney. Dad has offered proxy so need someone to go along and tell Nick Greiner he’s on too many boards and should stop being so greedy.

15 Nov, Wed:

National Foods, Sydney. Need proxy and quizzer to gauge scale of the milk crisis here.

Adsteam Marine, Adelaide. Yawn. Bored Croweater welcome to go.

Clough Ltd, 10am, Parmelia Hilton, Perth. Need proxy and someone to give crusty old Harold Clough a nice send off

Sausage Software, Melbourne. Stephen Mayne attending as Mr G’s proxy.

Pineapplehead, 5pm, Landy Room, MCG. Stephen Mayne to go and check Stan Wallis and Geoff Thomlinson are not wearing suits but need proxy.

Tooth & Co, 2pm, level 8, 70 Pitt St, Sydney. Need proxy and someone to ask this Adsteam relic when the mega-tax dispute will finally be settled.

Phoneware, 3.30pm, ASX building, 530 Collins St, Melbourne. Chance to put Pratt son-in-law and investment guru Michael Napthali through his paces. Stephen Mayne to go but need proxy.

16 Nov, Thurs:

Qantas, 2pm, Westin Hotel, Sydney. Stephen Mayne going as Lesley Wright’s proxy. Will be shaking the trees about cash for comment as Jones and Laws are both still on the Qantas payroll.

AAPT, 2pm, AAP Centre, George St, Sydney. Last throw of the dice before Kiwis take over so let’s get a proxy and quizzer for the last shout.

Amalgamated Holdings, 10am Wentworth Hotel, Sydney. Stephen Mayne to attend as shareholder in one of the last dogs left in the portfolio.

17 Nov, Fri:

Goodman Fielder, 10am, Wesley Centre, 220 Pitt St, Sydney. Stephen Mayne appointed as dad’s proxy but Seven will probably take priority. These boys are trying hard but doing no good.

Seven Network, 10.30am, ANA Hotel, Sydney. Stephen Mayne attending as Lesley Wright’s proxy to ask a couple of easy questions of little Kerry. Tim Watson also offered if someone else – perhaps a journalism students – wants to join in the fun.

Soul Pattinson, Sydney. Need proxy to quiz over cross-shareholder with Brickworks.

Qld TAB, 1.30pm, Albion Park Raceway, Brisbane. Any banana benders want this one?

Telstra, 1.30pm, Melbourne Exhibition Centre.Stephen Mayne attending as board candidate. Needs lots of votes.

Australian Magnesium Corp, 10am, Brisbane Hilton. Looking for proxy and quizzer to ask about huge rise for directors and the big project coming on stream.

Wilson Asset Management: 11am, 133 Macquarie St, Sydney. Give Matthew Kidman stick at this one.

Eh You Ltd, 3.30pm, Hotel Como. South Yarra, Melbourne. Clashes with Telstra but colorful dotcom start so need proxy and someone to go.

20 Nov, Mon

Woolworths, Sydney. Stephen Mayne attending as board candidate and proxy for his dad and Neville Wright..

21 Nov, Tues:

Ramsay Health Care, 2.30pm, Gloucester Room, Quay West, 99 Gloucester St, The Rocks, Sydney. Stephen Mayne to go but sold out a year ago so need proxy

Just Jeans, 2.30pm, 658 Church Street, Richmond. It’s casual day at this one. Any takers?

Village Roadshow, Movie World. Who wants a free day in a theme park? Looking for proxy and someone to go.

22 Nov, Wed:

Coles Myer, Melbourne. Stephen Mayne going but need proxy.

Beach Petroleum, 10.30am, Glenside, SA. A former 80s dodge stock so would love a proxy and quizzer for old time’s sake.

Australian Innovation Ltd, 10.30am, Wentworth. Need to get someone there to put Peter Lucas through his paces and his son Geoffrey who’s up for 400,000 options. Think it’s the Bondy Peter Lucas.

23 Nov, Thurs:

Challenger International, Sydney. Stephen Mayne keen to go but need proxy.

Investorweb, Telstra Conf Centre, level 1, 242 Exhibition St. Paula sold out for a rare profit so need a proxy and quizzer to call on their funds management side to become more activist.

Delta Gold, 2.30pm, ASX HQ, Bridge St, Sydney. Stephen Mayne to go and quiz about huge African write-offs but need a proxy to get through the door. Any suckers in this one?

24 Nov, Fri

Adultshop, 11am, Parmelia Hilton, Perth Premier Investments, 10am, Level 18 360 Elizabeth St, Melbourne 27 Nov, Mon

Cranswick Premium Wines, 4pm, Westin Hotel, Melbourne. Boring meeting, good wine.

Infosentials, Minter Ellison offices, Rialto Tower. Michael Shildberger’s group and one that I’m keen to go to, especially after controversial Webster Publishing acquisition. Will buy some shares if no proxy forthcoming.

28 Nov, Tues

NRMA Insurance, 4pm, Convention and Exhibition Centre, Darling Harbour.Stephen Mayne attending as shareholder and candidate.

Harvey Norman, Sydney. Keen for proxy so Crikey can go and extend it beyond usual 3 minutes.

Cash Converters, 3pm, The West Oz Club, 104 St George’s Tce, Perth

29 Nov, Wed

Ariadne 10am, Heritage Hotel, Brisbane 30 Nov, Thurs

M2M Corp, 3.30pm, level 23, Rialto South Tower, Melbourne. Nothing else on so will turn up if can get a proxy. Anyone know what they do?

1 Dec, Fri

Westpac, Sydney. Stephen Mayne going but needs proxy.

11 Dec, Mon:

David Jones: 10am, Wesley Centre. Stephen Mayne attending as shareholder and likely board candidate chasing same 35 per cent shopping discount that directors get. The new wife is really pushing hard on this one.

17 Dec, Tues

National Australia Bank, Melbourne. Considering standing for board on activist funds management ticket. Will need lots of support if have survived this far. Sorry Paula, will get a real job soon.

Give us a hand

Enough jesting, we have a major logistical job in front of us so please get in touch if you want to attend any meetings as our proxy or appoint us your proxy for meetings. We’ll be updating this as we go so keep any eye out for what we still need and let us know any meetings we’ve missed.

Don’t forget that anyone who provides us with a proxy that gets us into a meeting gets a free 12-month subscription and anyone who turns up at a meeting and asks questions for us gets two free subs.

It’s almost as good as winning the lottery so let’s crank it up and send in those emails to [email protected] Also, if you want to appoint me as your proxy somewhere, the best address is:

PO Box 2095 Templestowe Heights 3107

Cheers, SM