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It’s a Bastardathon! Who will be the bastardest!?

TheBastardOff

This cartoon is now available as a print if you are interested or even if you aren’t.

82
  • 1
    paddy
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:10 pm | Permalink

    Excellent work FD.
    Peak derp has reached singularity at last.

    BTW
    Good to see Jasper’s in the running for eleventy stars.

  • 2
    morphy richards toaster
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    People at work wondering why I’m laughing out loud here, thanks again FD! Send them to Antarctica!! :D

  • 3
    Fascinated
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:17 pm | Permalink

    oh the last frames…the looks on the faces are priceless

  • 4
    ernmalleyscat
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:22 pm | Permalink

    If they’re determined to race to the bottom I’d like to see them race each other to the bottom of the Indian Ocean.
    But unfortunately that race has already been won many times.

  • 5
    drovers cat
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    Now we know what that mad Yank officer was talking about re having to destroy the village in order to save it.
    Jasper should of course be a five-star general, or at least boss of the AMC - the Arsehat Mercenary Corps
    A work of art, dog#1.

  • 6
    drmick
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    Very clever FD. An intergalactic race to the bottom, without mentioning uranus or anyone else`s.

  • 7
    Aron
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:31 pm | Permalink

    I love how Jasper has returned as a zombie.

  • 8
    Persia
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:38 pm | Permalink

    Blow up Australia - not such a bad idea really, the place has totally gone to the dogs

  • 9
    drovers cat
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

    Persia, that’s sacrilege in this forum

  • 10
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 1:49 pm | Permalink

    That’s your next Walkley, Dog. And I agree with Aron - welcome ‘back’ Jasper.

  • 11
    nick beatnik
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

    I’m calling it - Leunig is offically unseated, we have a new champion. His anti lesbian and single women Catholic streak, tho rarely shown, takes a little shine off his work.

  • 12
    klewso
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    These little boys in their boats?

  • 13
    klewso
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 2:26 pm | Permalink

    Nice to know there is a Pet Sematary behind The Lodge?

  • 14
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 2:45 pm | Permalink

    POOR Jasper, can’t we get him to the vet? Frames three is out of whack with frames one and five. Even Zombies have some pride.

    I have an answer to the asylum-seeker problem. Our government should marginally outbid the people paying the smugglers. At least it’s better than spending the billions of dollars on thankless PR exercises.

  • 15
    Andybob
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 2:57 pm | Permalink

    I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” - GBS

  • 16
    Mike Jones
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 2:57 pm | Permalink

    We could tax Gina fairly, use the money to buy Indonesia, smuggle the asylum seekers in safer Navy boats and use the smuggling fees to resettle the asylum seekers in Bellevue Hill, Toorak, Port Douglas and Cottesloe Beach, then we could extradite arsehat rednecks to Iranistanaq and send the rest of Parliament to the Harold Holt swim school.

    Can I get some kind of award for this plan ?

  • 17
    Mike Jones
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 3:01 pm | Permalink

    Probably your best toon so far, Firsty, Stuff the Walkies Awards, I nominate you for a Puglitzer.

  • 18
    zut alors
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    Earlier today I’d decided to search my soul but, no matter how carefully I looked, couldn’t find it anywhere. Thanks to Mr Dog’s excellent work here I now realise it’s been sold out from under me - by the Rt Honourable (!) Ruddster & the Honourable (!) Rabbott. Surely this can’t be legal?

    MJ deserves special mention for ‘Puglitzer’.

  • 19
    TheFamousEccles
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    Firsty, yet another funny yet somehow depressingly accurate mirror held to the face of the polity - who merely preen at their own refection, or like budgies, peck at the other bird they see in the shiny thing…

    Love your woik, Dawg.

  • 20
    TheFamousEccles
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 4:20 pm | Permalink

    drmick - that was funny! Unnecessary and likely to cause me nightmares, but funny.

  • 21
    Fran Barlow
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 4:33 pm | Permalink

    Nice first dog …

    Obviously, my suggestion for plain packaging and health warnings probably wouldn’t have got past the first few frames.

    I was thinking of having promotions about Australia as a place where women “blow” and men “chunder” presumably because the food is so bad. We could point out that policy is run by ignorant bigots and they were bound to run into them on a regular basis if they made it here and that the country was up to its eyeballs in a debt emergency and bound to be wiped off the map by a carbon tax. (OK we know that’s bogus but we can pretend).

    We could show pictures of Gina Reinhart and Kerry Packers kiddy and Tony Abbott and say that these typified Australians. And we could show MasterChef and play clips from Australian Idol and any of those home makeover shows, and perhaps “Housos”.

    That would have to cut the numbers coming surely?

  • 22
    Andrew L
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 5:28 pm | Permalink

    Krudd & Rabbott are like the Yorkshiremen in the Monty Python sketch trying to gazump each other in awfulness.

    Btw, I like Jasper’s mobile pinkeye. Shades of an early South Park episode and Marty Feldman’s mobile hump in Young Frankenstein. Something in this ‘toon for everyone.

  • 23
    Circus Taximus
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 5:34 pm | Permalink

    The eye follows you round the room. That’s what makes him so strangely realistic.

  • 24
    drmick
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 7:06 pm | Permalink

    I would rather have a frontal lobotomy than an abbot in front of me,

  • 25
    Boston the Dog
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 8:11 pm | Permalink

    How come we have so many brilliant minds (such as FD’s) in this wonderful country, yet have such shallow clowns for politicians? The scary thing about this is that it is so true. We know about our past, but what is ahead for our Australia with either of these clowns?

  • 26
    AR
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 8:56 pm | Permalink

    Persia & VA - not yer average zombie, the blood engorged orb & ragged ear keeps shifting sides.

  • 27
    shepherdmarilyn
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 9:13 pm | Permalink

    None of them are fit to run a country dunny,

  • 28
    Plonkoclock
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 9:52 pm | Permalink

    Because Boston, brilliant minds have more sense - and decency - than to wade into such a cesspit.

  • 29
    mike tabs
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 10:45 pm | Permalink

    why don’t we injecta little science into this debate and create a new institute of astrophysics in Canberra and immediately set them to work on creating a rift in space and time off the coast of Indonesia which will trap anybody who dares seek asylum in this country in a boat by sucking them forever into the event horizon, surely that will stop the boats once and for all, unless the message still doesn’t get through and they somehow manage to navigate around this black hole, in which case we would simply just have no choice but to create a system of black holes which surround the border of the entire of the entire country, in doing to providing a decisive solution to this problem, this will of course also mean that nobody will be able to enter or leave the country ever again, but as this is unquestionably the biggest challenge we have ever faced as a nation, surely that is a price we are willing to pay, and its got to be worth at least a few polling points.

  • 30
    Patriot
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 10:57 pm | Permalink

    Blow them out of the water!

  • 31
    AR
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 11:06 pm | Permalink

    oh t’riffik, PatrIdiot has come out from under its slimey rock. And there I thought its absence was due to death from ingrowing stupidity.

  • 32
    Patriot
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 11:23 pm | Permalink

    Don’t worry, I’m not staying. I just come back now and then to make sure you’re not harbouring any more Communists.

  • 33
    Andrew L
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 11:35 pm | Permalink

    When Patriot shrieks “blow them”, I can’t help suspecting he is talking from a somewhat liberal party, boys-will-be-boys, what-happens-on-camp-stays-on-camp, women-are-ok-but-there’s-nothing-like-the-real-thing pucker-up-lads perspective…

  • 34
    Patriot
    Posted Friday, 26 July 2013 at 11:47 pm | Permalink

    And if I were…? Do I detect a note of homophobia?

  • 35
    mike tabs
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 12:11 am | Permalink

    well that was a starnge place for this comments section discussion to end up.

  • 36
    schaffer bill
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 9:08 am | Permalink

    Why can’t these latte sipping refugee types form a nice orderly underwater queue like the rest of us, instead of acting like they are in flight or something?

  • 37
    burninglog
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 11:52 am | Permalink

    Is Jasper from Sussex St.?

  • 38
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    Do you think Brad Pitt put Bastards into the title of that movie so he could pretend it wasn’t Americans who made it? Even today people probably think it was the British.

  • 39
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

    Do you think Brad Pitt put that word into the title of that movie so he could pretend it wasn’t the Americans who made it? Even today people probably think it was British.

  • 40
    drmick
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 1:02 pm | Permalink

    Patriot: I am not sure what the term is for people such as yourself who turn up on a site for the sole purpose of being a dic&head, but to answer your question; if you continue to hang about at the airport looking conspicuously dodgy just for the free cavity searches, then that phobia becomes a mania and prole will talk……how is your paranoia now?

  • 41
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 1:07 pm | Permalink

    I always say, Brad Pitt does excellent movie.

  • 42
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

    Can we say he “gives” good movie? I think we can.

  • 43
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 1:31 pm | Permalink

    ANDREWL: I’ve always thought Patriot was Alexander Downer in drag.

  • 44
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 2:29 pm | Permalink

    RULE #2 YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW. I’m sorry I am a little excited to be amongst here I will try only to speak when spruiken to.

  • 45
    rhwombat
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 4:42 pm | Permalink

    Venise - what drag?

  • 46
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 5:14 pm | Permalink

    RHWOMBAT: The black fish-net little numbers that he was caught out wearing some years ago. Patriot talks as though he had been hand-reared on Kipling. So does Downer!

  • 47
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 6:14 pm | Permalink

    It’s Mowgli, you just came from the page about lawns, also lawn mowers. And, of course, Ruddyard. Alexander, from the Baby page. The Dead Kennedys. goldfish, and perhaps “dares”.

  • 48
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 6:15 pm | Permalink

    Yes, because Alexander was actually Alexandra when it was the Queen’s name. Actually it still is, of course.

  • 49
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 6:51 pm | Permalink

    Oh of course. Down. Werewolf. Boy brought up by wolves. Benjamin Button. Also and I suspected it myself, Shine or that other one. Rain Man.

  • 50
    Lehan Ramsay
    Posted Saturday, 27 July 2013 at 8:12 pm | Permalink

    Okay. Keep with me, people.

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