tip off

Look at the time! It’s First Dog angry rant o’clock!

40
  • 1
    Lady White Peace
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 1:31 pm | Permalink

    Hi First Dog… I’m afraid your last comment is correct… the Press Gallery are just too broken and in too much despair to even consider replying to Barnaby Joyce… they realise that it would be the equivalent of pushing sh it uphill ! I must say though, that I just think the guy is a national treasure for the comedy show that he puts on whenever he is in parliament.

  • 2
    zut alors
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 1:32 pm | Permalink

    It’s heartening to know you and Bernard K are paying attention, Mr Dog. Where are all the Oz journos, are they pre-occupied writing letters to Santa?

    Cousin Jethro is portrayed as a pumpkin scone for cultural reasons endemic to Queensland lore but a dill pickle (with the emphasis on dill) would also be apt.

  • 3
    Holden Back
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 1:35 pm | Permalink

    See, this is the problem of representative government. Stupid, shallow people need to have their opinions on important topics represented in Federal parliament by someone. Why is it they’re usually from Queensland?

  • 4
    pritu
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 1:38 pm | Permalink

    zut, the rest of the Oz journos are in their bunkers turning their manure piles to see they refresh. Seem to have run out of worms…or the worms are coming out the wrong parts of the piles for their purpose.

  • 5
    paddy
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 1:44 pm | Permalink

    Alas FD. Your last frame sums it up perfectly. They’re broken, tired and utterly destroyed.
    NOT EVEN A WALKLEY COULD BRING THEM BACK TO LIFE!

    (Unlike a certain cartoonist. Who’s energised,inspired and having a *brilliant* week with the aid of a humble award.)

    P.S. Every time Barnaby amazes me with a sublimely stupid line, I reassure myself with a quick read of my favourite bedside book.

    The Wisdom of Steve Fielding”

  • 6
    klewso
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:00 pm | Permalink

    …. refer to editorial?
    Paddy got a picture of Steve Fielding and Jethro together…..?

    I’m waiting for someone to put together a book of “The Quotes of Chairman Me-ow”?

  • 7
    klewso
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    The “press duds” are a gallery of galahs, who encourage this sort of language (through failing to question his sort of activities - his ridicule is funny???) - then complain about what others are doing to lower the tone of political intercourse?

  • 8
    dropBear
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:10 pm | Permalink

    but he is right isn’t he? We all remember julia promising with carbon tax we’d have a white christmas in queensland this year. Just like the ones we used to know.
    Incontrovertible proof that she is a pathological liar.

  • 9
    zut alors
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:13 pm | Permalink

    The best quote to emanate from Qld in the past week was when Clive P@lmer was asked if he’d like to be premier. “I’m too fat to be premier,” is how he dismissed it. And the journos were perfectly content with that because it made so much sense.

  • 10
    drmick
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:24 pm | Permalink

    It probably went straight over their heads like everything else except alcohol and bad haircuts.

  • 11
    ernmalleyscat
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:27 pm | Permalink

    Stop it Firstdog, you’re just giving him oxygen.
    And Bernard gave him another oxygen.
    If someone else gives him a oxygen he’ll have three oxygens.
    And that is O3. And that’s ozone fella.
    And if Barnaby has ozone in the hot sun on the Goldy he might not get sunburnt and die of melanoma.
    So stop it Firstdog.

  • 12
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:29 pm | Permalink

    Did Bananaby really say that? I’m truly aghast that it wasn’t reported other than by the Crikey A Team… That’s better than the “I’m normal, I never get carried away. My mouth works for itself. You could say it’s self employed” comment.

    Though perhaps not quite as good as the time he said: “”One of the greatest ways to sequestrate carbon is to pray for rain. When it rains, the grass and the trees grow and carbon is sequestrated.”

    But my favourite Bananaby comment was this one from Meet the Press in 2009:

    This ETS - it’s the employment termination scheme. The extra tax system. Whichever way you want to call it, it’s a political fascinator - a bit of fishnet with a few feathers you can stick on your head - but it’s never going to keep the sunlight out.”

    Truly that man is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying AND gives accountants everywhere a bum(mer) wrap than they already have.

  • 13
    Pedantic, Balwyn
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

    It just gets worse. If Hockey and Joyce were the only gallahs on the Opposition Front Bench the election of Tony Abbott may be a bad dream; but it becomes a real nightmare as one includes Tony’s own foibles, Bishop’s incompetence, Dutton dumb as they come and the list goes on and on and on. Malcolm wake me up please

  • 14
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:35 pm | Permalink

    Maybe a pickle floating in a jar zut? (as befits a man that nearly got swept away in his car by [climate-exacerbated!] floods?).

  • 15
    Recalcitrant.Rick
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:40 pm | Permalink

    I heard him say that, and now my TV wont let me watch Barnaby anymore because it’s sick of being yelled at!

  • 16
    First Dog On The Moon
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 2:50 pm | Permalink

    EMC wins

  • 17
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

    It was Barnaby Joyce who was given the job of shadow treasurer but stuffed it up so badly he was relieved of same job, was it not?
    Barnaby Joyce is another one of Tony Abbott’s catholic fundamentalist friends; he really must have been stupid for Abbott to fire him. Never mind Barnaby, you’ve still got euthanasia and abortion under your rust bucket tractor. Vroom, vroom, rattle rattle.

  • 18
    Andrew L
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    I wish he was still shadow Finance Minister. Back then he was even funnier!

  • 19
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 3:29 pm | Permalink

    PADDY: Weak with laughter, I thought I’d better check to see if there is such a book, so I can look out for it on remainder shelves! Olé.

  • 20
    Mike Smith
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 3:39 pm | Permalink

    First Dog, your punctuation in the first square is wrong. You ended on a colon. “Does Barnaby Jones think?” would be better. However, you won a gong, you get a whole lot of indulgences for that[1]

    [1] the old fashioned RC ones.

  • 21
    klewso
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 4:11 pm | Permalink

    V/nice - that was “Fine Ants Minister”.
    He didn’t have a shovel so he couldn’t do Treasure.

  • 22
    ernmalleyscat
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    Gosh thanks FD, but you could have at least waited until the end to announce over the credits.

  • 23
    Stevo the Working Twistie
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 4:37 pm | Permalink

    I think it’s the despair. I feel it, and I don’t even have to report on these muppets for a living.

  • 24
    klewso
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 4:50 pm | Permalink

    I used to talk to the trees (my doctor fixed that) - and, on occasion, called Ralph on the Doultonphone - but I drew the line at doorstops.

  • 25
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

    I’ve just realised that we under-estimate Barnaby. Clearly he is ‘channeling’ his Irish ancestor James Augustine Aloysius Joyce. What we are witnessing is nothing less than brilliant verbal examples of “Joycean” verbal play. viz “…a form of extreme verbal inventiveness which tends to push the English language towards multi-lingual polysemy or impenetrability.”

  • 26
    drmick
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

    I just have this mental picture of the Beaudesert Hillbillies riding into Canberra in the old ford truck supplied by Gintalia from Rhinetalia; Jethro behind the wheel, Uncle Tony beside him,Granny Bishop with the shottie across her lap and elly-may bishop beside her; the poodle has its head hanging out the side and its tongue dribbling down the side of the vehicle. All on their way to see Mr Lumpy Lardclacker at the treasury. GHU

  • 27
    Andybob
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 5:23 pm | Permalink

    DrParnassus is right (except for the polysemy bit which I will have to look up.
    Barnaby’s comment is a briliantly sarcastic criticism of the simplistic response of the Coalition policy response regarding climate change.
    If Bob Brown said it, would any of us wonder what he meant ?
    I say we should assume Barnaby is a clever, enlightened and competent member of parliament until…..oh wait, my earpiece is exploding…

  • 28
    Andybob
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 5:24 pm | Permalink

    ) late addition of a closed bracket before FD picks up on it….

  • 29
    PeterN
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 5:28 pm | Permalink

    Bawahahahhahah - so true.

  • 30
    Cleaner
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 7:17 pm | Permalink

    The natural habitat of a Barnaby is the wide open plains of Queensland, where it is a long way between good ideas.

  • 31
    klewso
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 7:24 pm | Permalink

    He still reminds me of Lewis Carroll’s (Through the Looking Glass) Humpty Dumpty -
    “However, the egg only got larger and larger, and more and more human….”
    ….. “When I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean neither more nor less …”

  • 32
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 9:44 pm | Permalink

    I mean, if you could imagine 20 or 30 crocodiles up there on the roof, and if all that roof was illumination, and saying that we wouldn’t see anything in this room because of a few croco-roaches up there. Are you telling me seriously that the world is going to warm because there’s 400 parts per million of CO2 up there?”

    - The Wisdom of Bob Katter, Volume XXI

  • 33
    TheFamousEccles
    Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 at 11:56 pm | Permalink

    Oh Bananaby, you’ve done it again. I laughed until I whimpered and curled up into the foetal position. This tool is part of the alternative government and, as mentioned above, he comes with a whole retinue of other tools with little or no competence. We should view this as a warning…

  • 34
    spudandbeanie
    Posted Thursday, 6 December 2012 at 12:19 am | Permalink

    The first pane is the only thing that needs to be asked about Barnaby. “Does Barnaby Joyce think?” And I suspect the answer is: No, he doesn’t.

  • 35
    Plonkoclock
    Posted Thursday, 6 December 2012 at 1:35 am | Permalink

    The press gallery is ignoring him because there are matters of national significance that they must attend to. Especially the Questions The Prime Minister Must Answer. If they only knew what they were… No wonder they are despairing - we certainly are!

  • 36
    Posted Thursday, 6 December 2012 at 4:15 pm | Permalink

    Why is it that when someone asks me who were the worst politicians Australia ever had, the three top/bottom ones are Queenslanders? The names form a mini drum roll of everything that is most despicable. Joh Bjelke Peteresen, Pauline Hanson, Barnaby Joyce. Tragedy, tragedy/comedy, comedy/tragedy.
    ?

  • 37
    Andrew L
    Posted Thursday, 6 December 2012 at 5:25 pm | Permalink

    Venise, there are many more where they came from: “Bulldog” Russ Hinze, “Quasimodo” Colston, “Shady” Lane… the list goes on…

  • 38
    drmick
    Posted Thursday, 6 December 2012 at 5:52 pm | Permalink

    Maybe that old lady died of shame that her own son would support this “senator” moron and the ridiculous “friends” he has? What would Toney & Alan say?

  • 39
    Andrew L
    Posted Thursday, 6 December 2012 at 7:39 pm | Permalink

    drmick you just said what we were all thinking

  • 40
    Holden Back
    Posted Friday, 7 December 2012 at 3:10 pm | Permalink

    Ploise expline?

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